Archive for January, 2006


Every now and again he wins because I let him:

Her : asphinctersayswhat?


Her : asphinctersayswhat?


Her : asphinctersayswhat?

Crickets chirping

Her : asphinctersayswhat?



Him : I’ve watched Wayne’s World, you know.

Her : What?

Him : HA!

Owner : My dog is choking! I think there’s something stuck in his throat!

Vet nurse : Ok, come straight down.

Owner : Oh but I’ve just put up the potatoes on the stove. I’ll be there in half an hour.


4 am

Owner : Yeah… dog – she’s got these lumps on her back …do you know what they are?

Vet : ummm…no?


Owner : Look – I’ve got a really sick cat. I need to see a vet straight away!

Vet nurse : We are fully booked this morning. I can make the appointment after 4.

Owner : NO NO! I really need a vet NOW!

Vet nurse : What’s the problem with your cat?

Owner : Well, he’s been sick for a couple of weeks…….


Dog growls when approached. Ears back and hackles up

Owner : Oh, he’s just saying hello.


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