A guy called Gervase Phinn did a whole series of books on the sort of things kids say, supposedly drawn from his experiences as a school inspector in Yorkshire. It does sometimes give the impression of just being a collection of old funny-kid stories, but they are still funny anyway.

Example story:

Mr Phinn is in a class and the teacher is talking with a class of 6-year-olds about their recent visit to a farm. One boy said they saw a collection of pigs, horses, cows and f***ers.

The teacher says, “I’m quite sure you didn’t see any of those“.

And the boy replies, “well, the farmer called ‘em ‘eifers (heifers), but I know what he really meant”.