Tasmiya

Emesis House

Wednesday, May 30th, 2007 | Life and stuff | 8 Comments

I am an auntie once again! My younger sister has given birth to a beautiful baby girl. She is fifty parts adorable and seven parts fatty mashaAllah. She is beautiful and chubby and edible. Sister is still recuperating in hospital and with her permission may post some pics later.
——————————————-

Our home is unofficially The Emesis House. 6 year old had to come home early from school yesterday and he has been miserable and nauseous all day today. It’s probably a mild viral thing but please keep him in your duas.
Husband: When my sister was much younger, she suffered terrible travel sickness but you know what finally cured her?

Tasmiya: Go on. Tell me.

Husband: She put newspaper down her shirt so it was in contact with her skin.

Pause

Tasmiya: No joke? And that cured it? No vomiting or nausea?

Husband: Nope.

Pause

.

.

.

Tasmiya: What was the name of the newspaper?

Husband: I’m pretty sure it was The Placebo Times.

—————————————–

I have many emails to respond to and please forgive my tardiness all those checking their outlook express on the hour ie. all of you (!) I do still love you all. It’s not you, it’s me etc etc. When all settles down here at home I will be back to emailing and blogging, you lucky ducks.  In the interim, may I suggest a good book - (Wilkie Collins is my favourite author of the moment) and a nice hot cup of cocoa for those suffering blistering cold and a peach iced tea for those sweltering in the northern hemisphere.

kthxbye

Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007 | Life and stuff | 8 Comments

I am considerably socially inept. I have trouble saying the right things and when I realise I am saying something inappropriate, in my desperate attempt to make myself understood, I just keep on talking which invariably causes the worsening to increase exponentially. The worst part is I never learn.

This afternoon on my trip to pick up my 6 year old from school, I was approached by a wonderful young lady asking me if I would like to participate in a survey by having my son assessed by an education expert and oh yes, by the way did I know that they also offer tutoring? So of course instead of saying, “Thank you, Oh my how lovely and what a wonderful thing to do but I’m not really that interested at this point in time, perhaps I will call in the future should I have concerns about my son’s education,” I started by telling her I wasn’t sure if the assessment would indeed be independent since the very same people assessing my son just so happen to have tutors.

She explained really it was more of a survey - they were doing a survey of the students of the schools in the area and from there would take all that data and oh I don’t know file it away or something. Well, there was my NEXT chance to say no thank you - but me like the self appointed moral and ethical sergeant or something I repeated stuff about independent not being really independent.

I really needed to just say, “Thank you. I am not interested.” but in my attempt to thwart a possible, “but why aren’t you interested, don’t you care about your child’s education? Don’t you want him to get the best possible start in life,” I became a raving lunatic lady.

Thank you but I’m not really interested.

No thank you. I’m not interested.

Thank you.

MISER!

Wednesday, May 16th, 2007 | Conversations, Humour | 6 Comments

Husband: It was XXXX’s birthday yesterday.

Tasmiya: Did you guys get him anything?

Husband: Yeah. We all got together and bought him a Crunch bar.

Tasmiya: You ALL got together to get him a CHOCOLATE? So, what, you guys all pitched in 33c? Nice.

Husband: It was $2.20 I will have you know! XXXXX even went to check out the vending machine on the other side of the building. He saved us 10c.

Tasmiya: So what did he say when you handed it to him?

Husband: He smiled and said, “Thank you.” He hasn’t eaten it yet - it’s still on his desk.

Tasmiya: Well, it’s the thought that counts.

Husband: Exactly!

Don’t panic everyone - he isn’t really a cheapskate. He will be shouting XXXX lunch today.

Password Protected Post

Tuesday, May 15th, 2007 | Parenting, Rant | 6 Comments

So instead of writing on this blog every few days and updating my other personal scandalous blog every few minutes, I thought I would save some time and combine the two with the password protection feature. I kid! I kid! I only update the scandalous one every hour or so. In truth, I only wanted to try out the password protected thingy. It is nothing sensational, scurrilous or indecent or even that personal. I was just annoyed that a beautiful gift was carelessly dropped, sending shards of glass indiscriminately all over my floor, after having countless lectures on how some things are ONLY FOR MUMMY TO TOUCH! *sigh* I know accidents happen. I know children (and adults) sometimes break stuff but really, did it have to be MY stuff to shatter into a million and one pieces to render it beyond repair? Did it really have to be something I loved? Yes, apparently it did. If only to teach me that things are just that - things. People are well and truly more important and I have been blessed by a constant stream of beautiful people in my life. Alhamdulillah. I cannot love any THING as much as I love my any ONES.

So the password is/was - forgoodnesssake - go on, then.

Newsflash: Humans and Animals Actually DIFFERENT.

Friday, May 11th, 2007 | Humour | 8 Comments

Whoo boy!

I know your child is cute a puppy and as cuddly as a kitten but really, this is going a bit far.

It’s not uncommon for pet owners to use human drugs on animals too, with often times fatal consequences. It’s tempting to take the cheapest and laziest route but is it really worth it in the end?

FYI - an excellent lice control for children (yes, I have been initiated into THAT school-mum activity) is straight hair conditioner (HUMAN hair conditioner). Massage the conditioner well into all strands of hair. Leave for about 2 minutes, then comb out with a lice comb. Rinse well.

Lice control for animals? Go see your vet

Addendum (because you ALWAYS need one of those when you let your husband on the internet): Husbands and life threatening situations are not counted

Protected:

Friday, May 11th, 2007 | Parenting, Rant | Enter your password to view comments

Economics 101 - It’s Not Rocket Science

Thursday, May 10th, 2007 | Australiana, Rant | 5 Comments

Thanks everyone for their kind words after my last post. I know you luw me beddy much!

In truth, I did not watch the budget unfold and get analysed by economists and the like. I did not read much about it either. What I do know is that this government has taxed the bejebus out of everyone and THEN go around saying how good they are because there is a surplus. Then try and buy our votes (let’s face it - only the very rich or the very stupid would vote this government back in) by giving us tax cuts.

Is it not a tad strange that the government is enjoying a huge surplus while the ordinary Australian is enjoying the highest recorded personal debt? Something is not right here. I’m counting on you to sort it out, Kevin. Don’t make me come over there and sort it out for you….or wait.

Here is how I would spend the surplus:

1. A big house, new car and an overseas holiday

1. More money for education, infrastructure and HEALTH (you know important stuff)

2. Less money for fighting terrorism (BECAUSE I WOULDN”T HAVE MADE AUSTRALIA A TERRORIST TARGET IN THE FIRST PLACE!)

3. Give more money to the poor people.

4. More money for study, manufacture and implementation of alternative fuel sources. We are a DESERT country - solar panels, anyone?

Staying in Tonight!

Tuesday, May 8th, 2007 | Australiana | 7 Comments

Well since this chick has pretty much no life at all is so politically aware, the BUDGET will be released tonight and I will be refreshing my stats webpage crying and wondering why nobody visits me anymore glued to the television and making notes on what’s happening to Australia’s economy (Preempt - more money for the rich, less for the poor).