Archive for March, 2007


Sabr

I want to breastfeed whenever and wherever I feel like it. I don’t have time for excuses like, “Hang on a minute, I just have to check the stove” or “Let Ummy go to the toilet and THEN you have some ne-ne.” and the worst, “Let’s wait until we get home.” I’m sorry but it just isn’t good enough. I want what I want and I want it NOW. Honestly, am I asking for too much?

Look. It’s not rocket science. I can’t talk! So of course I can’t tell her exactly what I want and anyway, she’s my MOTHER. She should KNOW what I’m thinking every minute of the day. I mean is she deliberately trying to be difficult? When I say “Noonoo” sometimes it means noodles, other times it means rice. How hard is that to figure out? And when she gets me the wrong thing, I can’t very well tell her, “Excuse me, mother dear but I believe I asked for the other thing.” All I can manage is a scream and throw myself on the floor in a display of histrionics that would put the Australian Shakespeare Company to shame. It’s my only form of communication.

And another thing while I’m at it, she leaves things lying around all the time. I’m a TODDLER – I get into things. I like breaking things. It’s part of my job description. Why does she get so annoyed with me when SHE was the one who left it there in the first place? Are you seriously trying to tell me the chair is there in the vicinity of the table and I’m not supposed to climb onto the chair and then onto the table?!
Gosh! What is this privacy thing she keeps talking about? I poo in my nappy all the dang time and I do it no matter where I am or who is around. People can stare me in the face mid-turd and I wouldn’t batter an eyelid. She could learn a few things from me.

I know I’m demanding but it isn’t like she hasn’t gone through this with the others. Surely she could be a little more understanding and not so short with me. I think she’s trying because sometimes I hear her behind the door crying and saying, “Ya Allah please give me sabr.”

Ya Allah please give me sabr to deal with my mother.

Ad infinitum:

3 year old: “Muuuuuuuuummmm! Muuuuummmmmm! Muuuuuuummmmmm! Muuuuummmmmm….”

17 month old: “Ne-ne? Ne-ne? Ne-ne?…”

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Ad nauseum:

6 year old: “..so the worms and maggots come out of the eye…”

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Ad hominem:

Me: “You are only allowed to have a chocolate after you’ve finished your lunch.”

3 year old: “Well your face is getting black!”

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Curriculum Vitae:

17 month old:

Cried

Breastfed

Cried more

Fought with brother – Numerous times.

Messed chair – giggled

Climbed onto table. DEMOTED from position.

Messed chair again. Giggled

Breastfed

Giggled

Cried

Slept

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in flagrante delicto:

6 year old: “Nothing!”

3 year old: “I wasn’t doing anything! I was just pinching him!”

17 month old: – getting caught opening the fridge and examining its contents: “Mmm..milk there?”

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death of Habeus corpus:

Me: “OK THAT’S IT! You’re all in time-out! And nobody out UNTIL I say so!”

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In loco parentis:

6 year old (to younger brothers): ” *SIGH* I just cleaned this room and you’ve gone and messed it up again!”

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Maximus in minimus!

Isn’t it just obvious? :)

See also: 17 month old Discovers Science

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