Tasmiya

Everything little thing the reflex does…..

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008 | Humour

I think we are all familiar with the gastrocolic reflex - you see it often with little children - the minute the stomach is full, they need to empty their bowels. It’s like clockwork, honestly. But are you aware of these?

1. The Home-Urethral Spasm - Sufferers are not aware of any need to urinate until the home door is in sight. Once car is in the driveway or key is in the door, the person becomes acutely aware of URGENT need to urinate resulting initially in the crotch grabbing dance followed by front door left wide open or handbags, shopping bags and even children dumped on the floor. In extreme cases the odd child may be left in the car (<—-has not happened to me).

(yet)

2.  Motherhood Gag Reflex -  mothers are able to stomach bodily fluids such as vomit, mucous, urine and faeces (and by that we mean ALL kinds of faeces from the rock hard to the liquid kind) of their own children without so much as a retch. Odours and excretions from others’ children however do not possess any protection and so gagging and retching will ensue if in eyesight, earshot and nosesmell.

3. On The Way Out Bladder Reflex - When everyone is sitting in the car, ready to go SOMEONE needs to use the toilet. Sufferers are almost always children. Likelihood of occurrence is directly proportional to how late family is for event.

4. On The Way Out Nappy Reflex - similar to above but involves babies and children not yet toilet trained. Babies displaying an active OTWONR usually progress to OTWOBR as they grow older.

5. Selective narcolepsy - Sufferers feel inexplicably exhausted upon seeing the number of dishes to wash.

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So dear readers, have I missed any?

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