Archive for September, 2010


I used to love reading Asiya’s blog posts (not sure if she is still blogging but if I find a link, will be sure to post it here) though I hardly ever replied. Her sense of deep introspection and thinking always left me in awe and I imagine if I were ever to reply, all that I could muster would be a  clumsy and banal  ”WOW. That’s *deep*”  And that would be for each and every post.

Recently I’ve been attempting my own journey to self but in a way more awkward and embarrassingly confused bumble than the ideal (in my mind) controlled, self disciplined approach. I had been unhappy for a long time. Not with anything or anyone in particular but it’s made me quiet, withdrawn and maybe even depressed at times. Through examining myself from a distance, my relationships with my friends and with my family for what they truly are, I am feeling  better. So much better and I am grateful. Very grateful. I have been reading Buddhism for Mothers and perhaps this was the catalyst to my journey but who knows?  My knowledge of Buddhism is pretty limited and in the small amount of reading I’ve done, I can definitely see its appeal. I used to laugh when people would say that one could be a Buddhist Muslim – utterly ridiculous, surely! But there is so much in Buddhism that is compatible with leading a faithful Islamic life that one could quite easily incorporate the two (of course, leaving out all the contradictory bits to Islam and I think I will use this time to digress – all the books on Islamic parenting I have ever read are all about how we must teach them to pray, to hit them if they refuse to pray, to stop them from masturbating or they will be weak minded and their spouses will hate them, make sure our girls are covered,  separate the genders so they never interact ever because otherwise if you don’t do this, everyone will be having relations with each other willy nilly. Seriously??? Someone needs to write an Islamic parenting book that isn’t so ..I don’t know SCAREMONGERING??)

As I read through Buddhism for Mothers, I realise it’s taking me AGES, not because the book is particularly difficult to read but because non-fiction is just so HARD for me get into – books for me are meant to be an escape from reality so I’ve always been a purely fiction fan. Also with each chapter comes more and more thinking, more and more reflection on what I’ve been doing, how I can do it better, how I can incorporate the lessons in my own parenting and in my own life and that’s a lot to digest in one sitting. And I haven’t even come to the chapter on meditation yet!

I haven’t yet become the “calmer and happier” mother the back cover claims but God willing I think I am on the way.

1. Non Muslim men - Shut up about it.

2. Non Muslim women - see 1

3. Muslim men - see 1. I don’t know about anyone else but I’m really tired of men speaking for women. ESPECIALLY if your sole reason for supporting niqab is that tempting flesh must be covered because otherwise you can’t possibly keep it in your pants.

4. Muslim women who don’t cover - see 1 ESPECIALLY if you wax lyrical about how it’s all just cultural and it’s just a piece of cloth. Yes FOR YOU it is. Not necessarily for others.

5. Muslim women in hijab - see 1 ESPECIALLY if you feel the need to point out why you don’t wear it. Honestly. Are people not getting it yet? You don’t wear it so why YOU don’t doesn’t mean anything to someone who DOES.

6. Non-Muslim women who wear hijab/niqab for a day and think they know how it feels – SHUT UP.

7. Muslim women in niqab – Talk

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Or to summarise:

1. Muslim women in niqab: Talk

2. Everyone else: Friggin’ LISTEN

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