Tasmiya

Honestly, would you just say it already? “I’m sorry” is going the same way as “another shrimp on the barbie” or “flamin’ galah” – words never uttered by real Australians.

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Hey, did you hear about Frank?

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Nah, mate what happened?

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Some bloke barged into his house and ransacked the whole place; stole his TV, his video camera and his car!

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How do you know that? Were you even there?! Who is teaching you all this bullsh*t?!

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Not very Christian of you, Tony.

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F**K OFF!

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Would you two just knock it off?

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Actually, no – carry on. It makes me look good.Where’s Brendan?

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Who? Ohh..yeah Brendan..here he comes, with Frank.

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Frank, mate. Ummm. Yeah…So..How are ….Umm. On behalf of all of us, sorry about what happened to you. Having all your crap stolen. That’s awful.

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Yeah, really sorry.

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Yeah, thanks for that, Kev. They stole everything I owned, man.

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Frank, I really take offense to you saying that they STOLE stuff from you. I mean, they might have actually been trying to HELP you. Did you ever think of that??

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Umm..no I didn’t actually th…

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Well, I’m not sorry. I didn’t do anything to ya. IT WASN’T MY FAULT. I’M NOT FRIGGIN’ SORRY, OK? He’s not f**king saying sorry on my behalf! I’m not sorry.

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I’ve only just arrived so I’m not clued up on the whole thing…So what words did you actually use there, Kev? Look, Frank, I’m not sure if I’m saying sorry along with Kev. It really depends on the WORDING..You know what I mean? I’m not sure…. I’m not very sure of anything actually.

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Yeah ok, whatevs. Does anyone have a few bucks they can spare for the bus fare? Or can I get a ride with someone? I have to get to work and I have no transport.

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I said sorry, Frank. I didn’t say I was going to HELP you or give you any money. Geeze.

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Yeah…so..”sorry but no help?” Is that what we’re saying?

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Hello?

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Anyone?