Now that the warmer weather is creeping in, we’ve had a bit of activity from our six-legged “friends”. The ants have dropped in to say “Howdy! Thanks for forgetting to sweep up that minute crumb of something remotely edible.”

You would think that would be the end of it. They had however eaten the morsel and still wanted to stick around! They took a little tour of the house – first my bedroom then into the bathroom. I followed the trail, all the while screaming, “There is NO FOOD in the bathroom!!!” Now, I have been accused of throwing people out of my house before (true story – I may even tell it here one day, if I can ever mention the sad and sorry ordeal without spitting copious amounts of vitriol. Oh I do digress..) but these guys clearly outstayed their welcome. Indeed they weren’t *even* welcome.

I hate ants. With a passion that I can only describe as Australians hating that no good traitor rower woman!. In fact, I’m not fond of anything that has more than 4 legs. My nearly 4-year-old advised me to use Mortein on them. I know we as Muslims aren’t supposed to kill ants, so I told him we were going to try to coax them out. I tried vacuuming them – they just crawled back out again; sweeping them – they just kept on coming in; sponging the floor around individual ants – actually I only did that to pretend I was some sort of superwoman who could put an invisible forcefield around the enemy (I need some excitement in my life, is that ok with you??) – needless to say, it didn’t work. I had read somewhere talcum powder is a very effective ant deterrent. I liberally sprinkled it all over the nasty pests, their pathway and entry to the house. Of course, it might have worked…IF ANTS DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO CLIMB WALLS!!

All the while nearly 4-year-old was yelling, “MORTEIN MORTEIN!” In total exasperation, I told him not only are we not supposed to kill the ants, but we didn’t *have* any insect spray in the house. “Yeah, we do.” He dutifully showed me where the can was. Oh bliss. I sent him outside lest he witness the massacre then I sprayed the little buggers till I wasn’t sure if they died from the effects of the poison or from drowning in it.

More smart, more safe

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