Text messages
Mum: ATTENTION:
A virus is going round called Housework. If you feel the need to start Housework. Stop immediately. This virus wipes out your social life. If you should come in contact with Housework, go straight to the nearest armchair as the only
antidote known is called Rest! Please forward this warning immediately to at least 6 friends. If you realize you do not have 6 friends, you are already infected.
Tasmiya: The very fact that this came from my mother is proof that this is a joke!
Mum: well i’m laughing
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Husband: I heard you got an iphone
Brother: Yes. I’m so ishamed
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Gmail chat
Husband: hey, did i tell you that Dave Chappelle got buffed!
me: you mean buff? buffed implies someone got a buffer and rubbed him!!
Husband: sorry buff! My bad. Maybe now I will be inspired
me: you mean inspired to call women “bitches and hos”? yeah he’s such an inspiration
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Conversation
Husband: Before you ask, I *did* feed the cats when you asked me this evening.
Me: I don’t remember asking you this evening.
Husband: You did! You asked me to feed them and I did it straight away.
Me: This evening?
Husband: Yes.
Me: When this evening?
Husband: In the afternoon.
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