Tasmiya

I haven’t tested you, my readership for a very long time. I hope you have been studying. You are allowed 10 minutes perusal and 40 minutes for writing. If you require additional paper, please raise your hand quietly and wait for the old person to give you some. Toilet breaks are not permitted. So you better go before hand. Prizes for the winner*

Let’s just dive straight in, shall we?

1. How did Tasmiya and Farhad celebrate their TENTH wedding anniversary?

a) a blissful escape from the rat race, children and all modern life with a holiday on a secluded island, private beach, skinny dipping et al.

b) a cursory peck on the cheek

c) a truckload of gifts made from/themed from tin - the traditional material for the tenth year. How utterly sweet and thoughtful.

d) Tasmiya had supper at mum’s (with the children) and Farhad a bit tired, stayed at home. Eh. Who said romance was dead?

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2. What happened after Tasmiya gloated about 2 year old’s toileting triumphs?

a) nothing. Things continued along swimmingly with nary a urine or faeces soaked piece of clothing in sight

b) 2 year old cried out for nappies as he was tired of doing things in the toilet and wanted to a baby once more

c) accidents to rival VICTORIA FALLS !

d) b and c only

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3. How many times does Tasmiya have to politely ask the children to do something before it gets done?

a) just the once - my parenting skills are teh bomb! and the boys are compliant and obedient at all times

b) twice - sometimes they get distracted and need reminding

c) FOUR TIMES and then when they finally do it, it’s only half done

d) Politely? Are you kidding me? The only time they do anything is if I’m yelling at them!

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How many loads of washing in the Tasmiya household to be washed, hung out, ironed and folded and put away in total?

a) none - I actually AM the superwoman I claim to be

b) maybe one

c) two

d) I’ve seriously lost count - there are about FIVE that need sorting/ironing/folding etc, ONE on the line now, another truckload still to wash and that doesn’t even include the handwashing? WHOEVER INVENTED HANDWASHING? I KNOW IT WASN’T REALLY INVENTED I AM JUST MAKING A JOKE CAN YOU NOT SEE? *CRY*

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What has the fun-filled Tasmiya family planned for this weekend?

a) we are Indian. We don’t make plans - we decide at sunset what we will be doing for that day

b) weekend at the beach, science centre, gallery of Modern Art and all sorts of cultural and exciting things

c) gardening

d) work

e) all of the above except for b

f) c and d only

g) too many choices - when in doubt pick b

h) c

i) why the capital letters for “modern art”?

j) d

k) a

l) b

m) ok the joke has well and truly been done now

n) l

o) k

p) no really, stop

q) j

r) is it over yet?

s) h

t) k

u) nearly finished

v) i

w) t

x) zzzzzzzzzzz

y) q

z) ok finished now

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* And by prizes I just mean my unwavering appreciation and admiration

Don’t worry people, there really is no right or wrong answer:

sock, shoe, sock, shoe?

OR

sock, sock, shoe, shoe?

This one’s also for all you lurkers out there - yes that includes YOU.

Hurry up, people. Inquiring minds NEED TO KNOW!

Quiz Time:

Q. What did we happen to hear when the television just happened to be tuned to Wife Swap while we were otherwise engaged in educational activities such as reading Shakespeare and finally getting around to doing calculus for fun:

a) “I’m a b***h. I just can’t help it … I’m doing this to show my kids that I’m not that bad.”

b) “They look like they’re a black family.” Pause “But their house is so clean!”

c) “We use words like the F word, the S word and the N word.”

d) “There is no curfew. You boys can go out whenever you like and go wherever you like…. You are not allowed to go to football practice.”

e) “We’re even getting some bedroom action nowadays.” Eww

Answers after you’ve all had a go.

What does it say about us that we talk to each other via our blogs?

a) We are sad, sad people who really need to get a life.

b) How sweet!

c) *vomit*

d) I know how you feel - it’s hard to have a conversation without being interrupted by the kids.

e) It’s what all the cool couples are doing nowadays.

f) Haha! (/Nelson from The Simpsons)

g) all of the above

h) a, c and e only

i) b some of the time only but never e

j) i hate multiple choice!

Please students -NO CHEATING.

It’s 11:47 am and she’s barely managed a 2 second shower and put her clothes on (oh, don’t ask - it’s too long a story). Your first thought is:

a) Woah. Get thee to a Time Management Course STAT!

b) Her poor husband.

c) Heh. At least *I’m* not so disorganised. *smug grin*

d) She can’t possibly have gone to university. Liar.

e) PLEASE, DEAR GOD! WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!

f) Oh to be a fly on the wall at her house.

g) Worst. Stay at home mother. Ever.

h) all of the above.