Tasmiya

How (NOT) to enjoin the good and forbid the evil

- do not at any time think of your own self but concentrate on the ill doings of others. You are perfect.

- tell anyone and everyone they will go to hell if they don’t listen to you.

- ensure you tell wrongdoers in the most offensive way possible and when they say they are offended, be sure to soften things by telling them, “I am saving you from the hell fire.. you should not be so arrogant…you should be thankful and take this as advice given out of love and concern for your afterlife…what if you are in a burning house, do you expect me to talk to you quietly and gently?!…I am doing this for your own good, why are you so stubborn that you cannot see?….”

I am touched and yet at the same annoyed with people who are so scared of hurting my feelings or of being labelled politically incorrect if they were to describe me as “the lady with the scarf.” It’s happened so often at work when a nurse will ask a client which vet he/she would prefer to see or which vet did you see last and the poor dears will skirt around the scarf like it doesn’t exist when really it is the most OBVIOUS thing about me.

It’s OK with me to describe me as the dark/olive skinned/scarf lady/gorgeous/Muslim/beautiful one. Because I am.

A colleague is Indian and we’ve had a bit of whinge about it. He usually gets called “the large vet.” He isn’t the vet who immediately comes to mind when someone uses that word. He isn’t extraordinarily tall. He isn’t even fat! “JUST CALL ME THE BROWN MAN!” he laments.

We don’t mind.

Really. Go on - it will save everyone a lot of unnecessary time guessing and we aren’t offended. We’ve been called a whole lot worse, you know.

And before everyone starts shouting HARAAM HARAAM, I don’t mean celebrate in the way that Christians do, I just mean celebrate as in enjoy this part of year:

1. Everyone is happy! Plus people wear the most awful outfits and accessories this time of year so you’re bound to look good standing next to them.

2. These:

I don’t know what it is that makes these so much better than ordinary mint lollies. Oh and I don’t ever buy the “fruit flavoured” ones. That just sounds wrong.

3. These:

Cadbury only brings these out at Christmas time. Why not ALL YEAR? WHY NOT?HUH? HUH?

4. The Boxing Day Sales

Eid Mubarak to you all. May you have a wonderful day! May Allah make the pilgrims’ time easy and may He accept their duas and their Hajj. May He grant us all a chance to stand before His house.

I don’t think I’ve been this emotional over a federal election.

For a long time a brother has been leaving little Liberal Party pamphlets/paraphernalia around our local masjid which has bugged me but of course I never said anything. Now, the masjid has decided to put placards of Gary Hardgrave’s (member for the Liberal Party) ugly mug outside the building!

Now, anyone who reads my blog knows that I don’t much like our Prime Minister, John Howard and I cannot understand the appeal of the Liberal Party except for those who are already rich but still money hungry, racists and selfish people. Which apparently is MOST OF THE AUSTRALIAN POPULATION OH MY GOD END THIS MISERY SOON.

So of course I’ve been angry (to the point of nearly vomiting) over the masjid board’s decision to advertise the wan man. I thought would I be so annoyed if there were placards of the local Greens member or the local Democrat member? And yes I say I would be. It’s a place of worship for goodness sake and I don’t want politics anywhere near it.

Besides, Muslims are not an amorphous Liberal voting bunch no matter how much support* this particular Liberal may be showing us at this very moment. So whoever made the decision on behalf of the worshipers at my masjid can kindly take the placard down and put it in front of his house, not the house of God.

I don’t think I can help myself. I feel an angry letter coming and doctor, I canna stand the strain!

* And by “support” I actually mean eating all our steak burgers, Portuguese chicken and chips

So December for me is going to be InnoMoPraMo = International Mozzie Praying Month.

Here’s how it works - every day for December all you need to do is pray your salaah on time and those of us who have “holidays” can do some zhikr during the salaah times.

Simple! And y’all know what the prize is going to be, right?

Who’s with me?

Edited to add: You know what? I’m not waiting for December. I’m starting now

1. Tea cake and hot custard for iftar.

2. Ramadan in Adelaide - I was alone for two Ramadans and it was very hard. Daylight savings meant that Isha was late. I really don’t know how Northern Hemisphereans do it when the days are already so long. Work was busy as usual and I lost so much weight that on Eid day my mother threatened to keep me here in Brisbane and not send me back to Adelaide. Husband’s first Tarawih in Adelaide was long and tiring. I think he came home after one in the morning. The next night, the Imam took a vote - 20 rakats or 8 rakats. No guessing what everyone chose. Husband of course had to come home and do the rest (Hanafis are big on the sunnah prayers, man.)

3. Samoosas and phirni - a Ramadan staple. LOVE them. I remember helping mum shape and fold the samoosas as a young ‘un. My sister and I had a separate plate where we would place all our attempts at the perfect triangle - they were most definitely not for guests.

4. The cold winters of my early Ramadans. The days were so much shorter and fasting was a breeze.

5. My first fast. I was about3 or 4 and I was stubborn. No matter how much my mother tried to stop me from fasting, I was adamant (I needed to everything my older sister did). I took one bite of my samoosa at iftar and vomited. I don’t remember much after that. It’s all a bit of blur.

6. Iftars at Holland Park Masjid. Boy, those were fun. The atmosphere, the chaos and the friends.

7. Sehri when I was younger. My mother would wake up long before any of us, she would cook eggs or fry pelone and when everything was ready and only then would she wake us all. She washed the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen while we prayed Qur’an and she was always the last to get to bed. She would also be the first to wake up for the day. I don’t know how she did it - day in day out for that month. May Allah reward her.

8. Laila tul Qadr (Night of Power) - I remember sitting up late into the night, praying extra nafl prayers in the lounge room with my mother and sisters. We’d occasionally take a break together and have a cold glass of water or soft drink before getting right back into it. My father wouldn’t return from the Masjid until long after fajr was over.

So what are some of your memories of Ramadan?

Ramadan Mubarak to everyone celebrating this wonderful month and It’s OK Really, We Manage Quite Well Without Food and Yes, Even Water and No, if You are Going to Die You Don’t Have to Fast and Children are also Exempt and It’s Really Only In Daylight Hours So Please Stop Stressing On Our Behalf and We Won’t Mind If You Eat In Front of Us, REALLY for everyone who isn’t celebrating.

I’m not going on a complete blog fast but I will be keeping my online time to a minimum.

The boys and I raced around yesterday after Maghrib salat (sunset prayer) scrambled into the car and headed to the best vantage point to see the new moon. Alas, we missed it but today it was as clear as day. “It looks like a NAIL!, “shouted my 3 year old. “A BITTEN NAIL!” Yes the most beautiful bitten nail ever. Most of Brisbane is starting the fast on Friday which is a bonus since we always end up fasting later than everyone else (Our masjid is a big moonsighting one - no comments from the peanut gallery thanks.) I just hope Eid day is the same.