Tasmiya

She is about 4 kg (HUGE!) and she’s just beautiful. The children are so looking forward to finally having a girl in the house and I’m a little apprehensive but still excited. Such a big family mashaAllah.

When she’s finally home, will post some pics.

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It’s a CAT, by the way.

Sheesh..what were you thinking?

Just be patient.

I have weddings, walimas and mehndi nights COMING OUT OF MY EARS. You know how it is for us Indians, we don’t just have ONE function - there are eleventy from the bride’s side and then eleventy plus one from the groom’s side. It’s been fun and for the first time in a very long time the children are old enough to leave with husband so I can actually help out at said functions. Nice to feel useful for a change and alhamdulillah the children are so much easier to handle.  I’m usually a lump of shiny, metallic gaudiness (it makes me angry just thinking of the discomfort of the sequin overload) getting frustrated because the food is taking ages to come, my children are hungry and WON’T SIT STILL and the other ladies are STARING DAGGERS at me because I cannot control my children and we always need to leave BEFORE DESSERT - it’s enough to make John Wayne cry.

So what has everyone else been up to?

1. I check my blog stats daily.

2. Sometimes twice a day.

3. Often more than twice daily.

4. “I am going to blog about this!” is a frequent thought.

5. “Why don’t you blog about that?” is a frequent suggestion from husband.

6. He is frequently being sarcastic.

7. A post without comments is like egg without salt.

8. I re-read my blog posts at least twice to make sure there are no spelling or grammatical errors. I still miss some errors.

What insanity has befallen me that I actually signed up for this?

www.nablopomo.com

I’ve already run out of things to say! *sob*

And so we meet once again. I really don’t know how to introduce this answer section so let me tell you a story of a young girl who befriended my sister and would come over almost every day after school. While watching my mum arrange toppings on our pizzas, she politely said, “I’ll just have ham and pineapple on mine.” Or maybe I shall tell you of the young boy who lived behind our house. He would visit us just so he could eat white bread (his mother only bought wholemeal.)

And that is the end of my story.

can you believe ‘Crazy John’ (aka Br john Ilhan) has died?? inna lilahi wa inna ilayhi raji’oon. I feel so sad for his wife (another convert :)) and their young daughters. When the angel of death comes…

not much of a question, but it’s a start. quite a depressing start, actually. sorry!

he also has an 8 month old son! this just gets sadder and sadder. subhanAllah.

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’oon. How terribly sad. My duas to his wife and children. Death is always tragic and heartbreaking but so much more so when it is sudden and unexpected and the departed so young. Just imagine what this poor woman is going through..and her children!

okay, i know i’m just filling your comments with blathering. will stop now. feel free to delete these!

I will do no such thing. It’s sad and but also a reminder that we never know how long we have on this Earth. Take every opportunity to tell those close by how much they mean to us and never harbour grudges or stay angry.

P.S I love you Susan and please come to stay. You guys need to come here and we are here. It’s settled. Call me with dates.

mummyjaan on October 23, 2007 6:49 pm

Hmmm…. Salam alaikum. Make room for me again.Reading your last answers, I came to know that you’re a vet. The last time I read a vet was when I read “All Creatures Great and Small” by James Herriot. Tell me, do you really come across scenarios like the first chapter of that book? (Doing an internal version of some sort and then delivering a calf on a cold winter morning, with an unsympathetic disdainful farmer in the background)

Walaikum asalaam. There is always room for you dear mummyjaan. Do you know I must be the only vet who hasn’t read James Herriot. I have the the book on my bookshelf, does that count? Yes, vets do come across the cow unable to calve for any number of reasons and the annoyed farmer who, having tried everything first decides that he had better get the professional in after 6 hours of trying himself. Cows usually decide to experience dystocia (difficult birthing) on cold and rainy mornings. I can recall assisting in a caesarian section on a downed cow in the middle of a paddock while I was a student. I had to hold the umbrella to stop rain from entering the sterile *cough* surgical field. But that is what I love about cows - they aren’t wusses. The most stoic of all farm animals. After delivering a healthy calf and suturing, we pushed her up and she walked away with her wobbly calf following close behind without so much as a glimpse in our direction let alone a thank-you. Stoic. I never said grateful.

alyndabear on October 23, 2007 6:58 pm

My question is… why has my brain gone blank and it is only TUESDAY?

Oh dear, it’s a bit like that isn’t it? It’s a little known fact that children are brain suckers. Not in the zombie-eat-your-brain type but they do magical things with our brain and we are left unable to do the simplest of things such as BE RATIONAL and have LOGICAL THOUGHT processes. In actual fact thought of any kind becomes increasingly difficult. Which is why we find children so irresistible and can forgive them anything. It’s their survival mechanism.

You my dear are responsible for 25 children (if the NSW education system is anything like QLD) so your thought processes are diminished 25 times the normal (legal) limit. But do not fret. Antidotes are in the form of adult conversation (and I don’t mean adult as in RUDE stuff - get your minds out of the gutters this instant!) hot baths and chocolate. Preferably at once.

umm-fi-ard on October 23, 2007 8:20 pm I think my neighbour’s dog is a bullmastiff but I think I described another neighbour’s dog to you. The dogs look quite similar with dark brown fur and a white patch underneath. Too slim to be st bernards though.The neighbour’s dog on the left of the picket fence looks like a male and perhaps my neighbour’s (with the toddler) dog is a female. They also have chickens. Hey, but no worries Tasmiya, I ‘ll ask her before my older son decides to accept her invitation to play in her backyard. (She came over to ours today). gosh, the tuesday qt I wanted to ask you was.. gosh what was it?.. (mind has gone blank) will be back with qt on wednesday or following day, godwilling.

Bull mastiff of course! They are much prettier than bull dogs. They have that squashed in face but not to extreme. And they are mostly gentle giants albeit a little on the stupid side. I am not sure of the one you are now describing but I hope you will laugh at my little tale: We have a bull mastiff/great dane mixed breed dog next door. He has brown roan and white patches and is quite large. My 2 year old (at the time) peeked through the gaps in the fence and asked “Can dogs be cows?”

Could perchance your neighbour have a cow?

I await your next question eagerly!

Irving on October 23, 2007 11:59 pm

Here’s one: My daughter-in-law has a seven month old baby girl, Alhamdulillah! She also has a four year old three-legged cat named Murphy, a big tomcat who seems to be jealous of the baby and has scratched her a couple of times. Does anyone want a three-legged cat? Or is there a way to overcome the cat’s natural tendency?

Oh grandfather Irving. Alhamdulillah! The best age would have to be 6 months to 18 months (long before the stage of negativism.) It’s not uncommon for our feline friends to be put out (figuratively and literally) when a new baby arrives in the home. I don’t think it’s time to start looking for a new home just yet although of course safety of the child must remain paramount and if cat is hell bent on hurting her then he has to go.

If Murphy is indeed a tom may I just say this very quietly and men you are most welcome to cross your legs now castrate castrate castrate It sounds very cruel but it does prevent a lot of problems - prostate problems, roaming, aggression, fighting (which is how FIV -feline equivalent of HIV - is spread) and spraying…. plus tom cat pee has to be the most malodorous of urines that I have come across in my life (I have encountered many.)

Of course I am sure your daughter-in-law is ensuring Murphy is not left alone with her child. I know it’s hard with children and goodness knows new mothers never get time for themselves but if she can schedule a 10 minute cat only time in the morning, something regular that Murphy can look forward to, he will be more than happy to share the rest of the time with baby.

Your granddaughter can always get her own back when she is older and dress him up in frilly dresses, strap him into the stroller and wheel him around the backyard. Please take pictures. Bless.

Ya Haqq!

UmmInayah on October 24, 2007 10:00 am

I have a question for you! (This is your sister, btw :))

While looking after 3 beautiful boys (masha Allah), where do you find the time to blog?!

What on Earth are you doing on the computer and don’t you have a child to attend to? For shame..well I never..as I live and breathe ..I will be calling Today Tonight this instant - mothers neglecting their babies etc etc. How is she? What is she doing now? How come we don’t see you anymore? Are you going to Eidfest?

I find time to blog because I MAKE time. Which is why I am so far behind with my laundry, ironing and general cleaning of the house and organising my life in other ways. So the times I really should be ironing or mopping the floor, I blog (not all the time, mind.) PLEASE DO NOT TELL MUM! My boys are well fed and sometimes they’re bored but I never neglect them to spend time on the computer.

umm-fi-ard on October 24, 2007 12:42 pm

How’s your book club going and have you tackled Moby Dick yet?

We have thrown Moby Dick overboard but not before stabbing him with harpoons and punching him and extracting blubber. Lord knows I was blubbering all the way through it. We have all decided that to keep this book club going we will have to let him go and never invite him back. Boring so-and-so that he is. I only got about a quarter of the way through and one of our book club readers only managed the FIRST chapter. Another was still persevering and said that it had only NOW got exciting and she was nearly finished. Our new book should you wish to join us and you are very welcome to (call me!) is Vanity Fair by William Thackery. I am devouring this book but am embarrassed to say I think it may be because good ol’ Bill might have been the Jackie Collins of his time. It’s scandalous!

susan on October 24, 2007 3:46 pm

and now- REAL questions: Who do you think will win the (Australian) election? who do you WANT to win (okay, you can give that one a miss if you like; i know voting practices are often meant to be a provate affair)? and since you live in Brisbane, have you ever seen Pauline Hanson, IRL?

I think Australia will vote for a conservative, power hungry man. Make of that what you will. Who do I want to win? I don’t know why it’s so hard to find somebody who actually CARES for the country. Is it too much to ask for a leader who will spend money where it’s needed (EDUCATION, HEALTH AND INFRASTRUCTURE.) What depresses me most is that the majority of the people don’t look at the big picture and seem to vote purely on how much money they will get out of it. I can understand it to a degree but it still causes me anguish that the reason people like John Howard are in power is because people VOTED them in. I’m probably going to vote Greens - I don’t even know if there is a Greens candidate in my electorate - I might just pencil one in on the ballot paper - with second preference to Labor. In any case I will be crying most of 25th November if John Howard wins again. (see previous post)

As for Pauline - Oh. My. Gosh. I just recently discovered I live in the federal electorate of OXLEY - where the fiery vixen herself won. Ever since then I have been eying my neighbours and strangers in local shopping centres wondering which one of them voted for One Nation and whether or not I should punch them. I was in Adelaide when she was popular so thank goodness have never seen her in real life. It is indeed a blessing really for I do not think I could stop myself from screaming out “Please explain? I’m a backdoor man, trees and shrubs, I’m not human! No, I’m not human. Circular driveway! David (Oldfield) says you’re dropped! Large serving of chips. NO chicken salt, thanks. etc etc.”

Fin

I have been having dramas, sagas and domestic catastrophes over my new washing machine. I will just say that Life is NOT Good, thank you very much and you stupid company would do well to learn what it is like to have SMALL CHILDREN with nary a care or bother about what the words “Please don’t touch that!” mean.

Alhamdulillah for “contacts” aka brother-in-law who will be putting it all straight inshaAllah.

Question time! And I promise it will be nothing like the question time in parliament. ALSO LATE ENTRIES ARE ACCEPTED> Scroll down for new answers to new questions.

How do you cope with copious amounts of umm….diaper duty*?

*polite way of saying it**

**haha i pulled a Tasmiya***

*** (TM)****

****LOLZ

Well I must say, I have thought about this for some time as have found this question intriguing. Do you mean diaper duty* in the literal sense? If we are indeed discussing toileting of the baby kind then really, it’s all second nature now. I have only the one in nappies so it’s not that bad. I have yet to start the toilet training rigmarole and am not looking forward to that for there is comfort in the knowledge that the nappy will catch the bowel motion and urine voiding as it is so much more reliable than the human hand**

If you mean how do I manage loads of nappy duty in the metaphorical sense then I actually don’t manage. I do not cope well with any stressful situation and I do tend to make mountains out of molehills. I like to think of this facet of my personality as both interesting and endearing. Husband would likely prefer to describe it as “annoying.”

How refreshing to have my very own trademark***

*henceforth to be called “nappies”

** I know from EXPERIENCE.

***I just put those there for effect

plz i want one more question

Do you have any manual hobbies or interest in learning one?

And one more question you may ask. Alas I do not have a creative bone in my body. I am have not artistic talent and am all thumbs. I can knit, I have learnt to crochet and I do draw stick figures very well indeed. I know how to use a sewing machine and am an excellent tacker. I love to cross-stitch but that hobby has been given up since the little children have come my way plus I am still unsure if I am supposed to be knotting the end of the darn thread and it’s been causing me all sorts of bother so instead of asking someone I have thrown the towel in. See? So endearing, am I not? I would love to be able to paint, sketch, sculpt and do mosaics and all those other fiddly craft things but for now I am more than happy with my intellectual prowess. (snort)

Is this tuesday question going to be a staple on a tuesday?! How many questions are we allowed max? Okay, I have a real question, I just got out from 1 month hibernation and rechatted to my neighbour. I invited her and her toddler to swim in the pool in my backyard and she invited us to her child’s sandpit… My question is.. She has a dog with a face of a bulldog and the body of a greyhound, brownish grey color. My question is .. what pedigree is it and are they territorial kind of dog?

1. I guess it depends on how successful this adventure is and if people keep asking the questions. I am enjoying myself so far and hope you are too.

2. I should have set a maximum shouldn’t I (not looking at anyone in particular SUSAN of the eleventy million questions.)

3. Firstly, you have a pool in your backyard? Where do you live and can I live with you? Face of a bull dog and body of a greyhound -what an odd combination- send pictures. It surely must be a mixed breed. My guess at this stage is a cross between a greyhound and bull dog. 5 years at university - see how much they teach us? Most dogs are territorial of some sort especially entire males. Mostly food is a big priority in their lives as is their backyard but they may also be possessive of owners and special toys. I am sure you know the dos and donts of dog things such as never approaching a strange dog without permission from owner and especially not if the dog is eating. Never take food away from a dog and never leave a dog alone with children. Another thing - if the owner is scared of his/her dog then BEWARE because if an owner cannot control his/her dog then most likely nobody can.

u mentioned once in ur blog that u r desi.just curious wat do mean by that.n also i assumed that u r a doc.where did u study.n also y r u so beautiful;)

Desi = Indian.

I’m a vet not a doc although I have on occasion needed to refer to my good self as Doctor Tasmiya ____ as people kept mistaking me for a work experience student. I studied here in Brisbane. It was a lifetime ago long before computers, long before electricity actually which is why these days I am not mistaken for the work experience student. *sigh*. Umarah you have made my day. Thank you very much yes I am lovely mashaAllah and I don’t know- Allah just made me like that.

1. how often do stoopid muslims make dumb comments about being a vet being problematic because dogs are ‘najas’?

2. how often do you punch said stoopid muslims in the face for this?

I have had to break these questions up a bit so things flow a bit better. Actually I get more questions from non-Muslims about the najas thing. An owner once asked me in a very concerned tone whether I was allowed to touch her dog. I am assuming it is because of my Muslim-ness and nothing do with her lack of faith in me as veterinarian. For those who are curious, it isn’t much different to a human nurse or doctor having to deal with blood and vomit and urine on his/her clothes. I make a dash for the shower as soon as I get home and my children have learnt to allow me that time before they rush in and hug me. They soon realise if they have forgotten - “you STINK mum.” Most of my shifts are short morning ones so I have time enough to pray zuhr at home. A Muslim colleague prays at work though I am not sure if he changes (maybe he follows a different madhab but Hanafis are pretty strict with the dog saliva thing.)

I have punched many a Muslim in the face. In my mind.

3. what is the hardest part about being a mum? the best?

Oh parenting is fraught with difficulties isn’t it? I think the hardest part is the one one is in at the moment. Each stage comes with its own rewards and trials. In the beginning, it’s the exhaustion and lack of sleep and sometimes the loss of our identity as people as we are now not a person but a provider for a person with huge needs. We are often alone (even in a supportive relationship) and there are times nobody is there to provide for our needs. Then it’s the tantruming stage or the toilet training or the “talking back/indignation” stage. Of course as we move from stage to stage we realise what we were concerned about was really not that important or difficult at all and the cycle continues.

The best part of being a mother is this overwhelming love for a human being that with Allah’s help grew inside me. This connection and love I feel when I look into my child’s eyes and he stares back at me with the same love. The unspoken feelings of unconditional love. It doesn’t diminish the more children you have or the older the child gets - it just grows exponentially. It’s truly humbling yet awesome.

4.. how did you and your husband meet?

We met while I was on holiday in South Africa at the end of 1993. After I returned to Australia we corresponded for about 4 years before making the decision that our phone bills and postage were becoming too expensive and we really needed to do something about it. I can recall calling Telstra once to ask about my phone bill and the woman on the other end simply said, “Are you sitting down?” Husband came here to marry me and the rest as they say, is history.

5. there is an increasing trend in Australia of muhajibat taking off the hijab (it is becoming a phenomenon in melb and syd) because they no longer feel it is compulsory- would you ever take it off? why do you wear it? (ha- and i was the one that said not. one. more. WORD! about the hijab! feel free to ignore this question)

A muslimah revolution! What are the parents saying in all of this? Where are the husbands, brothers and fathers forcing their womenfolk to don the garment?! For shame! In my community the muhajibat are the exception rather than the norm so I have not witnessed this phenomenon. I do think of taking it off all the time especially the days that the doorbell rings and I can’t for the life of me find ONE of the billion scarves I own. Also my vanity takes a beating everytime I put it on. I suppose it’s a good thing and we aren’t supposed to be liked or valued for how we look but what we are on the inside and blah de blah. A friend once commented how it really does take away from one’s beauty and makes us all into an amorphous mass and since she’s said that, I often think how I’d like not to be a blob. The EGO in me feels very ugly in hijab. Of course it’s a very shallow reason to take it off( insert obligatory “Don’t judge me!”)

Then there are times when I feel as though I am not worthy of the cloth (that sounds like I’m a wayward Catholic priest doesn’t it?) I am not good enough to be this ambassador of the faith and shouldn’t I first perfect my innards before I go and start looking all holy on the outside.

Goodness I have issues, don’t I?

I wear it because I believe it is compulsory FOR ME. I don’t know about anyone else and I am not one of those who believe “enjoining the good” means telling everyone what to do. Most of us Muslims believe in the 5 pillars but after that things are all iffy. I don’t believe there is only one way to God and I do think that my hijab is a form of worship for me. Goodness knows I need all the extra brownie points I can get.

6. why do you choose to be muslim?

It all makes sense to me.

7. what causes you cognitive dissonance?

The expression “cognitive dissonance” for starters. I am easily distracted nowadays - I was not so when I was younger. I am awful when it comes to dealing with emotional issues, arguments with friends or tension between me and someone else. It becomes all consuming and everything else ceases to exist. My washing machine problem is mild and innocuous yet that is all I could think of yesterday. I was fuming for the whole day.

8. why do you blog?

I needed something to occupy my time and distract me from housework and cooking in the beginning. I was surprised when I realised that people were actually coming to my site to read what I had to say and actually commenting. Some of these people keep coming back WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? I love the feedback. I love the idea that I am connecting and communicating with people from countries and places I can only dream of visiting. I have found people who are my evil twins and I love the idea that through blogs I have come to love people with whom I have nothing in common.

okay. stopping now. but i reserve the right to add mroe questions. hey, you didn’t set a cap!

PS hope you got the book.

Yes. I did not set a cap. *sigh*

And thanks again for the book. My father was chuffed!

9. would you ever consider becoming a celebrity vet?

Oh goodness no. For all you non-Australians, here is a pic of our current celebrity vet:

and now for your viewing pleasure:

Now really, which do you prefer?

Besides, Australia can only handle one hijabi celebrity at a time and that auspicious role is already taken Please remember us small people when you win your Gold Logie.

1. why are you so beautiful?
2. why can’t i be more like you?

Mona wins the prize for best questions!

3. is ‘(:’ in arabic?

I think at ‘(:’ is actually a “duck for cover” smiley when one says something controversial and needs to hide. I could very well have made that up so maybe we should ask other people. Other people, do you know?

4. why did my hummingbird fly backward into the fan and die? (i was only 10 and scarred for life by this incident)

I am so very sorry you lost your hummingbird in such a freak accident. It could have been that the fan’s centrifugal/centripetal (I always get those mixed up) was much too powerful and the dearest didn’t actually FLY into the fan but got sucked there! I am sure he is flying happily with fans right this very minute in bird heaven.

5. what made you want to be a vet?

Simple and quite boring. I love animals. My parents did a lot of lecturing and attempted to change my mind but of course that made me only more determined. Alhamdulillah I was fortunate enough to get into the course and pass. I really don’t know what I would have done had I not made it.

6. do people ever ask you for solutions to their health problems? (i know someone who does, i swear!)

Yes. I have been asked on numerous occasions if so-and-so’s doctor made the right diagnosis and what would I have done and what drugs would I recommend for itchy skin/scalp/dandruff/warts etc. Some things work on first principles and can extrapolate across the species but I really hate to be put into that position. Doctors for human complaints and vets for animal complaints and never the twain shall meet.

7. what is your favorite animal?

Without even thinking - the cat. So beautiful, agile, aloof, clean and quite low maintenance.

8. why don’t you visit dubai?

I have heard so many wonderful things of Dubai and most of them involve shopping. Husband and I contemplated going there to live for a year or so and it would have all worked out very well since I was going to homeschool my eldest so no school worries but plans just never eventuated and while we haven’t forgotten our fantasies of such an adventure, we are just so comfortable here in Australia right now. As for holidaying - InshaAllah we may do a stopover or some such if we ever make it for Hajj. Make dua.

why are you so smart?
where can i get a sense of humour like yours?
are you beautiful hee hee …i have not seen you!!!
who invented armpit fart sound? does your family ahve the patents rights? will you teach me? did you think i had forgotten all about it?

Ok sorry Mona, the prize must certainly go to Nandini. I am not beautiful - I just say that so people will like me *sob*

You do realise why your comments always go straight to moderation - it’s the four letter f word you use all the time! Alright I will tell you - the secret to the armpit fart is to wet your hand with a bit of water, shake the excess and the farts will come loud as ever. There! Now off you go and teach the masses. My job is done!

fin

If you don’t mind anonymous questioners, then surely you won’t mind a new person on your blog…

Is ‘Tasmiya’ your name? What does it mean?

And, really, why *are* you so beautiful?

Of course I do not mind newcomers to my blog. Welcome! Welcome! Squish in everybody and make room for mummyjaan. Tasmiya is my real name. It means the act of taking God’s name. The saying “in the name of God, the beneficent the merciful” is commonly called “The Tasmiya.”

Even though they’re rhetorical I feel as though I need to address these questions on my obvious beauty (as the photo above demonstrates.) I wake up 3 hours earlier than the rest of the family to ensure my face is cleansed, toned and moisturised. Then I apply 10 layers of foundation and just the hint of blush and lipstick and a smidgen of eye-liner. (I am a fan of the natural look.) VOILA.