Public Service Announcement: Do not let Kirby people anywhere near your home.
For those not in the know, this is how it works:
1. The hook :-Guy comes to your door telling you they’re running a promotion & giving away a free carpet or upholstery shampoo and could we please give him our phone number so we can arrange a time for a rep.
So we’re moving out soon inshaAllah and we need to get the carpets done before we go. I figure we’d be saving money if we get one room done for free. Of course, stupid me decides to go ahead and give this man our details.
2. Your last chance to say NOPE! : Next day, bright and chirpy lady rings to say reps are in our neighbourhood. We organise a time for 9:30 on a Sunday morning (I mean, how cool is that – they even do it on a Sunday!). I need to make sure husband is at home so that the rep can demonstrate the “lovely product.” Oh, and don’t worry about moving the furniture – the rep will do all of that for you. Cool!
Ok..needs to be said – I’m usually pretty clued up with this sort of thing and I knew they would be trying to sell me something & I knew we would be saying no. I just wanted my free carpet shampoo- yeah it’s all about the free stuff – I’m Australian, don’t you know? Just so you know people, whenever they want both partners to be present – it’s NOT A GOOD IDEA.
3. The intro : So the rep turns up on time and oh so happy and cheery and starts with the small talk. He brings his stuff in and starts talking about the “product”. Look it’s just a glorified vacuum cleaner but please don’t tell him that – he refers to it as a “home maintenance system”. Before he starts his demo, he hands us a piece of paper and asks us to give him THIRTY OR FORTY names of people we think might be interested in a “Home Maintenance System”. Look, mister – we don’t even know thirty or forty people and the people we do know, we like and we really don’t want to put them in this situation. So I give them my mum’s number – she really good at telling people that word no. (That and the fact that she is her very OWN home maintenance system, thank you very much!).
4. The demo: Before he starts his demonstration of this “Home Maintenance System” he needs to phone his boss to tell him he is here and he will be starting, so can he please use our phone? The hell? The company doesn’t give him a cell phone for that? And why does he need to ring his boss-I don’t ring my boss from the house where I’m doing a house-call to let her know I’m here at the house doing my house-call. SHE KNOWS THAT BECAUSE SHE SENT ME HERE! Ugh. Can you tell I’m getting annoyed. I need to get this room shampooed already!
There we go through the myriad of attachments, look at all that dust your vacuum cleaner just didn’t pick up and look how much cost goes into replacing carpets and bedding.
I must admit, it’s pretty cool. I can see myself using or at least trying out the attachments but I know all those attachments – with my kids and my vagueness- would be lost the first week. Plus it looks very confusing. Too many attachments and way too many buttons and whatnot.
5. The price: $3170 OR $150 deposit and $40/week
I don’t think I need to say any more. Husband tells him straight out it’s way too expensive and we won’t be buying it. Thanks. (Can we please get our carpet cleaned, now?) He asks if it was within our budget, would we buy it? Maybe, we say.
6. But wait! There’s more!: Apparently the demonstration hasn’t ended, he has so many more attachments to show us! So there we are watching him vacuum our mattresses and the walls and the ceilings and the carpet and the tiles and could he please have some salt so he can show us something else about the “system” We are still not interested in purchasing. (Can we please get our carpet cleaned, now?).
7. But wait! There’s more!: He needs to use our phone again to ask the boss, since we are such nice people, to give us a better deal. How about no deposit and $30/week.
Alhamdulillah we are not struggling and my husband makes enough so I can stay at home and take care of the children but THIRTY DOLLARS A WEEK? Madness. No, sorry we are not interested in purchasing. (Can we please get our carpet cleaned, now?)
8. We give up: Nearly THREE HOURS LATER and he is still going. We tell him not to worry about cleaning the carpet in the room and can he please get out of our house he please pack up because we have a prior engagement and we are running late.
It was like he was torturing us with niceness and enthusiasm for this HOME MAINTENANCE SYSTEM until we finally gave in just so he would stop. Three hours of vacuuming all sorts of things and attachment after bloody attachment. THREE HOURS! Anything – we’ll do anything if you just stopped attaching things to that machine. Oh dear Lord, just STOP!
Moral(s) of the story:
a) You’re kidding yourself if you ever believe you can get something for nothing.
b) Never ever say yes to door peddlers
c) The Kirby people – EVIL – just EVIL.
Three hours – ack, you have much more patience than I. Although, I’m always the one who is stuck at the door with the nice (!) salespeople and religious callers because I feel bad saying no and/or closing the door.
So, did that room ever end up getting its carpets cleaned? Or were the attachments too busy cleaning anything and everything in sight?
As for using the phone, that’s pretty unusual. In this day and age, who doesn’t have a mobile to do that? Check your next phone bill to make sure it wasn’t a long distance call or anything..!
-Aly
Wow that is really annoying. The phone bit is scary though. It’s a little similar to the timeshare marketing but you have to go there to the resort, take a tour, sit through a presentation, get asked a thousand questions, be lured with sales gimmicks, and spend an hour trying to convince them timeshares won’t work for you. but then you get a free dinner or some other free gift and 2 free plane tickets. But i’m sorry you didn’t get your free carpet cleaning in the end! Thanks for the warning.
Aly – I will definitely check my next phone bill. The nerve! I wonder what would have happened had we said no – that he couldn’t use our phone. Would that have been the end of it?
UmIbrahim – Looking back at it now, I really can’t believe how silly I was to even think I’d come away on top! As they say here in Australia, “that’ll learn ya!”
As-Salaamu ‘alaikum,
Kirby cleaners are expensive because it not only includes a glorified vacuum cleaner but also a maintenance package; Kirby actually maintain their products for you. I’ve personally met someone who said it was perfect for the big house he has. I’ve also met people who aren’t all that impressed.
I actually went along and applied to become a Kirby salesman when a company set up to sell them here in New Malden, but didn’t go any further than the first step because it sounded too much like hard selling. The thing I noticed was that they gave themselves a name like “South London Homecare” which made them sound like something other than what they are: a Kirby pushing company founded by Kirby pushers. That sounded dishonest to me.
I can agree with you, at the fact that there are a wholebunch of sleezy salesman out there…but, Im working with my father this summer and we are seeling Kirbys. I’m 18 and trying to work for college and my dad is retired trying to support his family. Kirbys a hard job, I’ve never had so many people be so rude to me in my life. We aren’t trying to sell you a product that doesn’t work, we are honestly selling you a product that will help you and take care of your entire household. Thats the difference between Kirby and other sales people.
As for the phone thing, Im not sure at all why he was using your phone and I would most definitely check that out further.
Please don’t give us bad name because you had one potentially bad egg.
thank you.
I’m sorry Sarah. You are right. This was just one bad situation and I shouldn’t paint all Kirby salespeople with the same brush. I can imagine just how difficult selling is and I’m sorry people have been rude to you. About the phone thing – I was thinking maybe the salesman is paid by the hour – so he rings the boss to say that he is starting now so boss times him. I wonder if this is why he ended up staying so long? He said he didn’t get paid commission so I wonder if it’s time spent in the home? This may explain why he was in our house for three hours even without the carpet shampoo.
I came across your blog as I was researching Kirby myself. I was conned into buying this machine even though I didn’t want it. It only happened yesterday. Thankfully, I refused to have it financed and wrote a personal check, which I can always stop payment on. I am really concerned because I have called the numbers they left behind, but none of them work. Additionally, I drove by the address and it doesn’t even look like a real business. They told me I could bring the vacuum back within three days, but how will I do so if there is no one there. I have called the police.