I’m a firm believer in child-led weaning but at the same time I feel a little bit uncomfortable thinking about nursing my children longer than say 24 months. So maybe that makes me not such a FIRM believer. Then again there are times when my three year old gets hurt or is inconsolable that my instinct is to just “whack him on” the breast to ease his discomfort.
My older boys just decided themselves that they had had enough of the nursing. My eldest decided at around his first birthday. I was devastated. My little man not only didn’t NEED me anymore but didn’t seem to even WANT me. Rejection like that is not easy to accept. My nearly 3 year old slowed down his nursing when he was about 15 months although his weaning was a little more gradual. After about 2 months we had stopped nursing altogether.
My youngest though shows no sign of ever stopping. He is huge comfort feeder – much more than the older two ever were. I’m not really that much of a prude and have no qualms about nursing in public – I do however nurse under my scarf (another good reason to wear hijab – the number one non-deen reason would have be to the bad hair day). I am happy to nurse anywhere but the thought of my son screaming at the top of his lungs for “Ne-ne” (his word for milk) or just lifting up my shirt or God-forbid UNDOING my buttons IN PUBLIC just makes me squirm. However I can’t see myself ever refusing my child the breast especially when that’s what he wants and needs whether it be for sustenance or for comfort.
What are your thoughts? Anybody have strong feelings about this either way? Do you have a “cut off age” whereby you will stop no matter what? For those without children, do you look at breastfeeding say a three year old as EWWWW? I’d love to get a discussion going here so please leave your comments!
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Honestly? I know nothing about motherhood, but I think each child is different.
But just for discussion, it did kind of creep me out seeing that Desperate Housewives episode last season when the lady at Lynette’s work was breastfeeding her five year old.
Yikes!
But I’m pretty easygoing; it’s a personal choice for mother and child.
With my oldest two boys I didn’t nurse for very long. They were both preemies and were not able to nurse for awhile. They had bottles to start out with, which meant I had to pump for them. They weren’t able to nurse until they were about 3 months old. I stopped after 4 months with my oldest because it turned out he was allergic. The projectile vomiting and frequent screaming/crying reduced considerably after I switched to Soy formula. I stopped at about 7-8 months with my second one. Due to working and the lack of sleep I just didn’t want to do it anymore. It was too hard pumping so that there was enough milk. He has also had more weight issues then my oldest. The doctor wanted me to get the extra calories in the preemie formula.
Now with my third one, I can say stopping nursing isn’t going to be easy. He is definitely a comfort/marathon nurser. He probably spends the majority of his day at it. He refuses the bottle altogether. Nursing is the only thing that seems to comfort him when he is upset or tired. I’m not sure what I will do at this point. I am getting nervous about how it will be when he has teeth.
i guess its so difficult to wean off babies in later yrs.i ve a almost 2 yr old n hes so much in love wid my left breast that i m afraid its gonna b horrible to start the weaning thing.i m just terrified
Salamaat,
we are in the same boat tasmiya and please let us know what you decide/ what happens.
My lil man is 19 months and is also a comfort nurser showing no signs of letting up.
The good thing is that he started slowing down in the time he is nursing…i started giving him milk in a glass (soy cuz the regular bothers him/ eczema).
And with more food intake in general; it’s helping with the nursing.
But when he is hurt/upset/sleepy/bored…he wants to nurse. Or just kinda hang out pretend he is nuring, getting all close and comfy with mommy.
I really love the bonding…but i won’t continue after 24 months. That’s firm.
Already, my *whole* family thinks its REALLY gross for him…at 19 months to reach for my shirt, nurse while standing, say “Nurshhhh!” really loudly, legs hanging on the side of my body…my little sis thinks its too gross; my brother doesn’t even like to sit in the same room with me nursing.
I have no problem with nursing in public…whatever. As long as nothing shows (in terms of my body)…I try to be discreet about it; but it’s no biggie for me.
Anywho, I personally think two is a huge cut off time. Maybe I am being too literal on the Quranic general guidelines that mentions 24 months…but three seems a bit too old for nursing and FIVE is like Ewww…
But talk to me again in a couple of months; I may have changed my position, depending on how easy/hard it is to wean him off exactly at 2.
wow…i wrote an essay
Salaam,
I nursed my 2 older children btw 1.5-2.3 years. My youngest 14 months old son now is also a comfort feeder and wants me to nurse him to sleep when I’m at home. However, I no longer breastfeed him in public places as he can eat other food like his favourite macaroni which I pack sometimes or finger foods sold at the cafe. I only nurse him discreetly when we are on a long journey or there is a baby changing and nursing room available. However, I ve seen other mums nursing their babies in public places and it is not really a problem.
Thanks for the comments, ladies. My little one is only a year old so I don’t have to worry about it just yet. I do know that this will be a struggle compared with my older two – because I see how often he uses me as comfort as well as for nourishment.
InshaAllah I will dig up some fatwas. Yes I said it..FATWAS about weaning and extended nursing.
We should wean them at 2 years of age. Feeding a 3 year old is going a bit too far. We should follow the guidelines of the Quran and Hadith on this matter.