I’m so sick sick sick of WOMEN being responsible for controlling men’s “urges”. I haven’t said anything about the whole Sheikh Taj business because it really gets my goat. The whole thing. What he said. How the media have gone crazy (as if Muslim men have a monopoly on misogyny.)
I can imagine how hard it must be for young unmarried Muslim males in this country to stay chaste. OK. Actually I don’t think I can. BUT THAT’S BESIDE THE POINT. There is a huge difference between consensual intercourse and RAPE. No matter how many times he tries to clarify, the text is glaringly obvious. It was more about rape than about adultery/fornication.
We live in Australia. Like it or not, there is no dress code (except of course if we’re talking about banning hijab) and women here wear pretty much whatever. If you think that means she is “loose” or “asking for it” or doing it to gain your attention then you are seriously mistaken. If you can’t keep it in your pants and use HER DRESS as a justification then you probably don’t belong here.
And just tell me, where are the khutbahs telling men and women HOW to stay chaste in this society? I’m not talking about just lowering the gaze because that’s all well and good but you have to look up some time otherwise you’re going to bang into a wall. I’m so sick of hearing how much WE have to cover because men are so weak that any hint of flesh is going to send them into a sexual frenzy. For goodness sake! It insults every woman who has struggled to be seen as more than an object of a man’s desire and it insults every man who has managed to “control himself.”
Please.
Give us women a break. And give the men a little bit of credit.
kthxbye
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YEEEEessss! (Can you tell I agree with you? I mean, do I need to be a bit more forceful about it? Because I totally agree. 200%. Or more.)
Ouch, I just banged into a wall and my head hurts!!!
Great post, by the way. I read it when I looked up for a second
Ya Haqq!
i could not have said it better. and what men don’t seem to realize is that this attitude is not just degrading to women, it is insulting to men. it’s like saying men are rapists by nature. they can’t help themselves. i mean if that is really the case, lock them up: they are imminently dangerous to themselves and others. arrrrghh. thank you for ranting for me.
Those comments that were made really were infuriating. Pretty sad how closed-minded people can be.
Sigh.
One of the (many) things about this whole nightmare was the horrifically ignorant discourse surrounding rape that emerged; that the way a woman dresses or looks somehow contributes, that her ‘overt sexuality’ is a factor. Try telling that to the women in Saudi Arabia in niqab and the women in Afghanistan in burqas who are raped. Try telling that to the 80 year old grandmothers who are raped, and the baby girls and toddlers who are raped. Are they too sexualised?
Such a gross misunderstanding of the true violent, power-and-control-driven nature of rape is truly worrying, and extremely insulting to rape victims. I can’t believe people still think this way.
As-Salaamu ‘alaikum,
The thing that bugs me most about attributing rape to women’s dress is that rape cannot possibly happen that way. Quite apart from the fact that only a very sick man would actually try and rape a woman just because he saw her dressed in such a fashion, a man who acted on impulse like that is far more likely to be fought off, or to be seen and dragged off, than one who planned and stalked out a victim because she was weak (and relatively attractive to him) or found her in a place he knew he could do it and get away with it. If such behaviour was known as a trigger for rape, everyone would know someone who had been attacked and most likely fewer women would dress that way anyway. I can’t believe that a man would say it was a trigger because no normal man would act that way.
Tell it.
When you live in a society where thong bikinis for teenage girls are the norm and the average woman out at night wears clothes that only a hooker would have worn twenty-years ago, bombard people with sexual messages on TV and music and the internet, and then tell people that it is never their fault if anything happens to them you are creating the perfect recipe for a climate where sexual assault will flourish and the ultimate victims of this are women.
There is never any excuse to rape a woman or to assault her and all such violators of these laws should be severely punished. However, when you live in a society where thong bikinis for teenage girls are the norm and the average woman out at night wears clothes that only a hooker would have worn twenty-years ago, bombard people with sexual messages on TV and music and the internet, and then tell people that it is never their fault if anything happens to them you are creating the perfect recipe for a climate where sexual assault will flourish and the ultimate victims of this are women.
I have had conversations with female friends of mine who have told me that they feel comfortable walking home at night wearing mini-skirts and blouses with their breasts and navels exposed and when I tell them that they better be careful they say angrily “ what are you saying, it is my fault if something happens?†and my answer is “it is partially your faultâ€.
This is no different than the person who leaves his car unlocked and windows down or the person who leaves the front door open; the stupidity of the property owner doesn’t justify thievery, but the property owner bears some responsibility for his goods being stolen. If I am in my cab and sitting outside of a liquor store in the ghetto and take out all of my money and begin counting it in the open it does not mean the person who robbed me committed a noble act; it does mean that I invited this crime to happen.
It is irresponsible and foolish to believe that the clothes omen are wearing these days while cruising along the streets at night, often by themselves, does not endanger them to sexual predators. It is equally foolish to believe that the sexually provocative cloths that many women, and girls , are wearing these days does not lead to an environment where sexual assault frequently occurs and wild sexual behaviors is the norm.
So I say to all of the critics of what Sheikh al-Hilali have said, put your PC dogma away and factually tell me exactly how he is wrong? It should also be noted that this is not a Muslim V. non-Muslim issue as there are many non-Muslims who share the opinion of Sheikh al-Hilali
Asalaamu alaikum,
Thank you for commenting everyone.
Aussie Muslim – here are the facts:
1. Women are NOT like uncovered meat. Men are NOT like cats that are hungry.
2. Women are NOT valuables in a car and thieves are NOT rapists.
3. You can’t have it both ways – either there is NO excuse for rape or there is one. You seem to imply that by dressing a certain way that is an excuse or an invitation to be raped.
4. Rape is NOT a sexual crime. It is a crime of power and hate. Little girls are raped and as Susan already mentioned, women in burqas get raped.
5. You say: “It is irresponsible and foolish to believe that the clothes omen are wearing these days while cruising along the streets at night, often by themselves, does not endanger them to sexual predators.”
Which is the more “high-risk” behaviour – the walking around alone part or the dressing “like a hooker?” Rapists don’t go around searching for women dressed a particular way. They look for someone who is going to be easy to overpower. If I, a 45 kg woman am walking somewhere fully covered and there is a 150 kg woman dressed “provocatively” (whatever THAT means) just who is the rapist going to try his luck with?
It annoys me no end these constant references to women being pearls or jewels or meat or flipping valuables in the car or money at a liquor store in the ghetto. Stop making these epic similes to describe us.
There is NO excuse for rape. No buts or howevers.
Perfect post!