I can’t say I did that much research into breastfeeding while I was pregnant with my first child. I knew it was good and just thought it the natural – not in the organic/herbal/no-chemicals/no additives natural but the normal/this is what is done after having a baby natural – thing to do. Plus I didn’t really want to have to deal with sterilising and scrubbing bottles and teats. I’m lazy.
Breastfeeding is physically demanding. Nobody warned me about that. Nobody told me that my body would go into milkmaking overdrive at the expense of almost everything else. Sleepless nights would inevitably mean I would have little milk the next day. It works out well, though (surely Allah is the best of planners) because it made me take care of myself. Taking naps here and there (OK – granted, it wasn’t enough and I could always do with more sleep) really helped. I was never one to drink water but breastfeeding is not possible without proper hydration. So there I was drinking copious amounts of water anytime I had a spare moment.
Breastfeeding is isolating. It’s lonely being the breastfeeding mother. I’m realising this now watching sister-in-law with her brand new beautiful daughter. Socialising is restricted to times when baby isn’t feeding (especially if you are not comfortable feeding with other people around or others are uncomfortable around you) and if baby likes to feed ALL the time and forever, it’s really hard to chat to people. What’s worse is that even at home with the family, it’s lonely. Baby can’t get sustenance from dad (of course there is the expressing milk option but remember, I’m lazy) so for nights, it’s just mum and baby – not saying fathers don’t help but in my experience they aren’t awake every night every 3 hours like mum is.
It’s a powerful comforter and the best way to reconnect with my baby. Since my 14 month old is on solids now and feeding less frequently I am finding my milk supply diminishing. It doesn’t mean either of us are ready to stop nursing. I am irritable lately and if he notices I am getting a little grumpy he becomes needy and wants to nurse. Right now, mum. NOW! It’s his way of asking, “are we OK, mum?” Of course there are other ways to bond with one’s child and a mother who doesn’t breastfeed is not inferior in any way. For me though there is nothing that quietens my son and makes him more happy than a nurse when he’s hungry or upset.
i’m not reading up too much on breastfeeding either. i was told to, but really breastfeeding seems a teeny, tiny bit scary to me, especially now.
am i the only one?
You ahve beautifully expressed all emotions connected with breastfeeding here. On spot!
I’m lazy too.
So lazy. And very neurotic about sanitation, so bottle feeding would’ve driven me to OCD and insanity. My 14 month old pulls on my shirt when she wants milk. I think it’s so cute. heeehee. I’m one of those people to whom public breastfeeding is unthinkable. I guess cause i’m clumsy and i just KNOW i’ll have an accident. 
Salamaat,
Good descriptions…i was told all the good stuff about it, none of the pain, aches and discomfort associated with it. There is something about the constant stimulation that decreases a woman’s libido (i read up on this and it made so much sense).
I am lazy too but the bonding that comes from nursing is really incredible and can’t be quantified (plus all the other pluses)…
There are two things they never tell you about breastfeeding:
1- It will hurt in the beginning!! the skin needs time to get used to being sucked. No book or person told me about this pain!! why???
2- It may take a few days (or more!) for the baby to learn to latch on. Not necessarily but it may happen especially the first baby. I had this dreamy notion that it just happens automatically – the baby is born knowing how to nurse. Again, no book (of the popular ones) mentions this.
But there’s also a couple other NICE things about breastfeeding they don’t tell you about:
1- Nursing in the shower. You and the baby sitting in a tub of water, skin to skin. It’s the best thing to experience.
2- Nursing at a lake/beach/park/nature. Another must have experience.
Thirdly, one of the things that dawned on me in my nursing days
- Your hijab becomes ‘useful’ for nursing in public/car etc. That is if you wear it in the old style where you have two ends coming down over your chest.
Lastly, i have recently learned (after i weaned my youngest!!) that breastmilk can be put in the babies’ ears when they have an infection, eyes for eye infections, cuts, and rashes. I can’t wait to try it for the next baby. The books NEVER tell you that. The only thing they mention is using it for sore nipples instead of the lanolin creams.
God, I love salt and vinegar flavored chips. I used to love sour cream and onions too but sadly, not anymore. They just don’t appeal anymore.
There’s these great cheddar cheese flavored ones from Philippines, I forget what they’re called, but mmmmmm.
Mona: I hope I haven’t scared you with my post! I think a lot literature talks about how wonderful breastfeeding is (and it is) and how smart your child will be and how great breastmilk is (and it is) but nobody warns expectant mothers about the struggles they might go through. Having said all that, it’s definitely worth it
Suroor:
Um Mahtab: My little one lifts my shirt up and starts giggling. I haven’t had an accident just yet and Umibrahim is spot on with the scarf – it’s very useful if there is a latch-on malfunction.
Maliha: I think that constant touching thing goes equally with Mums who are bottle feeding. It’s not just the stimulation or let-down (at least as far as I know) but the constant touch from children and babies day in day out. We get all touched out.
Mona UmIbrahim: Yes on everything! Alhamdulillah I didn’t experience too much pain but yeah, it can be pretty uncomfortable. I used to think breastfeeding just happened by instinct. I saw it often enough in animals and figured baby and mum would just know what to do instinctively.
Mona: Salt and vinegar ROCKS!
It really bothers me that the information out there seems to be pretty one sided. I’ve known people who just quit doing it because they just weren’t prepared for the reality of breastfeeding. Perhaps if someone had just been honest about it, they could have worked through the difficulties. While breastfeeding is the best for baby, it can be hard and it does take a lot out of you. I don’t think a day goes by that I don’t think about just giving it up at least once. I also think that there are some people that go way over board and scare women away from it as well. Personally I think you should do whatever works best for you, whether it be breastfeeding or bottle feeding.
I am also in the lazy category too and it works for me and dh. I don’t remember him waking up in the middle of the night to help bottle feed or change diapers since the first week of life of our first born 7 years ago. I did try bottle feeding my firstborn as my mum insisted on it but my baby vomited a lot with formula milk so I stuck to breastfeeding after that as it was the right “formula” for my children when they were babies and still is for my youngest.
Surviving: I do think we need to be honest – that sometimes it isn’t a walk in the park but in the end it’s definitely worth it. But I wonder if that would sway some pregnant women into formula feeding? I’d hate to think that might happen, but you never know.
Umm-Fi-Ard: Welcome! Husband didn’t help much with my first born but he had a new job which required him to be on-call so he got as little sleep as I did! We were very grumpy that first few months.
much blogging can be done whilst breastfeeding! i’ts a wonderful experience but yes it’s exhausting. My newborn has just had a thrush infection in his mouth and so he hasn’t been latching properly and this makes for very sore boobs. If he was my first child i might have given up thinking it’s normal.
Jamila: Ouch! InshaAllah baby gets over his thrush and starts to latch on properly. My first had a case of thrush and he was so sore, he would push me away and refuse feeding. A short course of anti-thrush gel (can’t remember the name, now) and alhamdulillah all was fixed.
for those new breastfeeders out there, the soreness of my nipples was actually nothing to do with his latching. turns out he passed the thrush infection to my boobs, so i had to buy a gel to put on them