I clumsily walked through the door after a long day at work.
“Mum!” screamed my boys, all excited to see me.
My nearly 2 year old called from the hall, “Ummy, no more ne-ne!”
I stared at my husband, questioningly.
“I’ve been drumming it into him all day. You’ve been saying you want to stop breastfeeding for the longest time so I’m helping things along a bit.”
The rest of the day passed without incident. My nearly 2 year old didn’t ask for a nurse and he seemed content to potter around with his brothers. Bedtime was only the slightest drama as he wanted to listen to storytime with the older two.
Finished. Nearly 2 years of breastfeeding over. Just like that.
The next night though, he became clingy and asked for a feed.
“No more, ne-ne, remember?” my husband reminded him.
The sneaky thing waited until his father’s back was turned to ask me in the softest of whispers, “..want some ne-ne, please?”
I distracted him for as long as I could but it was obvious he needed me. The crying started and my husband took him away to bed. He sobbed then wailed then started screaming. I tried to keep myself busy thinking that any minute now he would give up and allow his father to comfort him.
For as long as he has been alive, nursing has been such a comforter. He nursed to sleep; nursed when he was upset, hurt or sad. Here he was now inconsolable and here I was listening to him crying for me and not even trying to go towards him. All the while, thinking, “He’s too old to keep going, he really needs to find another way to comfort himself, why isn’t a cuddle with his father enough for him? It needs to be done now and we need to make a clean break, Cold turkey, It’ll be hard for the first couple of days then then it will all be forgotten.”
Then I got to thinking, “Is this how I want him to stop? Kicking and screaming? Who even made this decision for me? For us?” I know he meant well by encouraging the break from nursing but could I honestly say in a few years I wouldn’t only remember it being my husband’s decision without consultation with me and certainly with no consultation with my son? Besides, what is so wrong with my son wanting the occasional feed to keep him happy?
I ran into his bedroom and held my son for what felt like an hour. He stopped crying the minute his arms were around me. He didn’t ask for ne-ne but did eventually fall off to sleep. Happy and in my arms.
We aren’t ready just yet but inshaAllah when the time comes it will be right for BOTH of us.
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Awww! Soooo sweet…
There’s an old trick that desi aunties use back home to convince their kids to stop breast-feeding when it starts getting a bit much; mashed up (cooked) bitter-melon on the nipples!
My ammu tried this on my little bro when he was 2+ and just wouldn’t give it up! He looked up at her with such suprised, disappointed eyes. It didn’t take much after that…
Goodluck to the both of you!
aww, good luck with weaning but whenever the two of you are ready.
i felt sad just reading about his cried and sadness so i can’t imagine what you went through.
It must be so hard, I can’t even begin to imagine. But I know you’ll do a wonderful job.
So glad you’re posting daily!
ne-ne is like smoking – too hard to give up
It can be hard to watch your sweet little one cry at such times. Stopping nursing is probably the first time when you as a mum, will ‘let go’.
I weaned my first child 1 week before her 2nd birthday. Although I had dreaded it much, it was easier than I expected.
It helped that she was eating a full diet of solids and juices, that we went away on a mini-holiday a week later, where I was doing a course – the rest of the family went sight-seeing, so she hardly missed me.
She was restless a few nights, but she understood surprisingly well that there would be no more ‘peeti-peeti’ (her term for nursing) and that she was now a ‘big girl’. The corners of her little mouth would sometimes curl downwards (ready to cry) as she asked, “Mummy, Bibi peeti-peeti nai?” but she wouldn’t cry or ask to nurse – just toss and turn between us and then snuggle next to us and sleep. We kept her sippy cup or a glass of water nearby – she would sometimes drink it before going off to sleep.
In all, the ‘transition period’ didn’t last more than a week. I was so grateful to Allah Taala for making it easy.
I hope you and your son find it easy too.
Good luck with weaning.
It is going to be so hard for BOTH of you
I hope I can breastfeed my one for as long as you have your 3rd – Khair insha Allah!
Null – oh my. Bitter melon. I will have to keep that in mind. I don’t cook the stuff usually (too bitter!)
Mona – it’s ok. Don’t be sad anymore – he is now feeding often and is happy.
Alynda – I don’t know if I can keep the posting up though. I saw you did the questions, too. Wow – you got a wonderful response.:)
Achelois – but at least ne-ne is good for you
mummyjaan – alhamdulillah it was easy for you. I think I am being a bit too soft as I know if I had just stuck it out that night, I am sure I would be free and him off the breast!
UmmInayah – inshaAllah but don’t stress if it doesn’t happen – they usually decide when they’re ready (like childbirth) and there isn’t much we can do to stop it from happening.
I’m having a bit of a problem to stop my toddler from nursing too. (I still think he is my lil baby). It was easier with the first two as I had subsequent childbirth around 2 years later. Oh yeah my older kids still attempt to sneak in and nurse when I’m not looking whose nursing on me!