one. I really HATE reading about/listening to vegetarians/vegans go on and on and on and on about how they ate SOY ice cream or DAIRY FREE sorbet or tofu cheesecake or animal friendly tiramisu or eggless ***ing cake. JUST STOP IT. This obsession with telling everyone EACH and EVERY TIME that you are a vegan/vego gets really really old and tired. It’s really noble that you don’t eat meat or animal products and I really admire you for doing it but for goodness sake – just say you ate a piece of cake. I really don’t care if it’s made with a million tiny sparrow eggs, it’s still a flippin cake. And besides Eggless, butterless, vegan, flourless organic cake just takes too long to say.

two.  And that goes double for the health freaks who say that they made pies with FAT FREE pastry, oh and these are nice, they only have 1 % fat or I don’t put any oil, salt, flavour, MSG in my food and my children never eat junk food and oh my god they ate chips LAST week and that means no more for them for the REST OF THEIR life.

three. Racists and people who say racist things.  The most annoying ones are the ones who are so vocal about feminism and women’s rights but well, it’s ok to say the Chinese are like this..and they speak like this…and Indians are like this….and all people from Timbuktu do this (is that how you spell it?) do this.  Not that I think that being a feminist automatically makes you anti-racist but well, surely people should think before they speak. And the worst part is that I used to be one of them –  I would often sayborderline racist stuff and in the same breath claim I wasn’t racist. It doesn’t work like that. Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck etc. etc.

four. Hectic mornings. ****. Me. To. Tears. Why can I not wake up early in the morning? Why can I not go to bed early? WHY WHY WHY??

five. Pap smears. I’m not bashful and I don’t really think it’s about losing your dignity or anything like that. Strange too that I don’t find them in the least bit embarrassing – I just think it’s a hassle trying to organise a time and then a time when someone can take care of the children and make them coincide.

six.  I was going to say Pirate Day at the school but it actually ended up being a lot of fun – the teacher went to so much trouble to organise a treasure hunt and the prize was a chocolate (yum!) and I got tips from other mums on recipes, cleaning and help with toddlers who don’t want to listen.

seven. Having to cancel pap smear because you realise you don’t have anyone to take care of 3 year old.

eight. Being three years overdue for pap smear. Not that it’s been three years since your last but actually FIVE.

nine. I am peeved that I can only think of eight things that peeve me.

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