Dear Mr M,

As a final farewell to the school holidays, my cat decided to urinate on my son’s school bag. Thankfully his communication book was spared although I cannot say the same for his homework book or his library bag. If you are interested in viewing his homework book for assessment, I recommend you do so now as the urine odour will only get worse (trust me on this.)  His library and school bag are both in the wash and hopefully they will be dry and odour free, ready for use tomorrow.

Thank you for understanding

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Dear Carpet in my 3 year old’s room,

I cannot explain it. In my rush to get things organised this morning, washing urine soaked school paraphenalia and making lunches (not at the same time, obvs) I left 3 year old unattended after his shower. You know as well as I do, that his most preferred item of clothing is none at all and he felt comfortable enough to begin playing with his toys while completely starkers. He has been toilet trained for nearly a year and we have very rarely had accidents thankfully. So why he did this and more importantly why he chose THIS day of all days to wee on you,  I will never know. He too could not come up with a satisfactory explanation apart from “because it was there!” and “but I was drinking water and I just spat it out. Well, no you didn’t give me water but…DON’T SMELL IT!”

So, Carpet. I am very sorry that you were the victim of this drive by pi**ing and I hope my attempts to rid you of the offending fluid were to your standard.

Thank you for understanding.

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School holidays are over.

I miss the boys terribly.

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