Before I begin, I think I ought to tell you all that I’m not a supermum, I’m not perfect and I certainly do get angry and shout at my child. (I say child because it’s poor nearly 4- year-old who gets it – 9 month old is at the age where they just don’t do anything “wrong”). I’ve learned most of the time I am short-tempered because I haven’t had much sleep, or I haven’t been eating well. I’m not trying to make excuses, just to show you that most of the time it’s *my fault* and I will be the first to admit that. Although it may not seem the case as I’m typing here, I’m ashamed of myself and some days I’m wrought with guilt. May Allah give my son mercy in his heart such that he forgives me for the many times I have shouted at him.

On to my story –
I was watching a beautiful little girl and her mother engrossed in some sort of meaningful conversation. After watching for quite some time, I asked the mum if her daughter is a little chatterbox. “Yes, she is talking constantly. I am forever telling her to SHUT UP.” I smiled awkwardly and walked away.

SHUT UP. We don’t ever use those words in our house. I am not sure if my husband and I actually sat down and discussed it, but we’re both in agreement – There is no place for that here.

When people say, “Shut up,” they often mean :

Quiet for a second, hang on a minute, play quietly please, there’s no need to cry, use polite words, I don’t appreciate your tone, I don’t want to talk right now, I am not in the mood for an argument

But when people hear, “Shut up,” they only hear:

What you have to say is not important -YOU are not important; your input on this is not wanted – YOU are not wanted; Your words are not valued -YOU are not valued.

Now imagine saying this to a little child – who from such a young age seeks only YOUr approval. What a kick in the stomach. What blow to their very fragile self worth. We don’t do it in our house. Our home is a haven from the spirit and ego crushing big bad world out there. If you ever catch me saying SHUT UP to anyone, let alone my son please tell me to do the same.

« »