Most of us have been in this situation at least gosh I hope at least some of you have or else I’m going to feel like an awful parent- you’re out in public (and more than likely it’s a place where children are supposed to act..well anything BUT like little children) and one of your children starts a gargantuan tantrum.
The screams are blood curdling, accompanied by flailing arms and kicking legs. It’s truly a sight to behold.
Now onlookers usually fit into 3 categories:
1. Pretend as though nothing is happening and continue as usual.
2. Look at the parent and child and nod knowingly, sometimes giving a “I feel your pain” smile.
3. Look at the parent and child with utter disgust.
Today I encountered something completely different. A woman telling me, “My but you have so much patience!” I wonder if she meant it as a compliment on my ability to remain calm while my 2 year old WAKES UP THE DEAD! or whether she meant my child is a complete brat and how could I possibly stand for that sort of behaviour. I’m inclined to think the former because, well …isn’t it just OBVIOUS??
What do you do when you see a parent trying to console the inconsolable, tantruming child? What would you like someone to do for you (if anything) when you’re in that situation?
It actually makes he feel a little better to see other kids misbehave. That way I don’t feel quite as embarrassed or like my kids are the only ones that misbehave in public.
I ignore them, because that is what i would like when MY kids misbehave in public. The worst thing is when the look!!! Sometimes being in public brings out behavior that they would otherwise never do.
as salaamu `alaykum…
I would like for everyone to please please pretend they don’t see or hear me and my kid while she is yelling her head off and kicking and flailing about, wanting to be nursed but I can’t nurse her because we are getting down at the very next train station which is only one minute but feels like eternity away…
OK you can tell this has happened before *S*
assalamu alaikum
Yep I second what Um Ibrahim and Iman wrote. Please ignore us! Although I do appreciate it when I get understanding smiles.
I would like people to say something like “I know how you feel” or “don’t worry about it” or “I understand”. Some kind of recognition for trying your best in a really hard situation. I hate those “looks” that you are talking about. After the third child and the third batch of tantrums, they don’t seem as bad as the first child when you reall felt like everyone is starring at me. i don’t know if it’s more patience or you can just forget about it and get on with it.. I am like that now, I really don’t care, if people are going to judge me, then they will do it anyway!
I like the “i know how you feel” look. I used to have no patience for crying kids, especially on airplanes. I suppose I have gotten my just desserts on that one.
I usually find that the people who give you the disgusting look are the ones who have no children of their own and therefore cannot possibly relate to the fact that although you spawned this creature, you maintain absolutely no mental linkage or control for its behavior. Damn independent little spirits. 
Can you tell we are having this problem too?
Salaam;
On our way to Jordan when A1 was two, we were seated behind an older couple. We were in economy, of course, so naturally all the seats are so close together you can’t even think about moving your arm because by then you’ve already elbowed whoever’s sitting next to you.
A1, who was in a car seat, was bored. Who can blame him? What is duller than a midnight flight over featureless ocean, and when everything you brought with you to do begins to look like a mightily stupid idea?
He wasn’t fussing, much, although I got a dirty look every time he did get fussy. Oh, no. He was kicking. Merrily. Unstoppably. THUMP-thump-THUMB-thumb-THUMB. Each time, a little foot would connect with the seat in front of him. I tried to stop him, I really did.
But I have to admit, after a while, I just quit trying. You want to give me dirty looks because a two year old is going to act like a two year old even if he’s sitting behind you? Suffer the consequences.
I started offering up angelic smiles each time the woman would turn around and stare with me. No words, just the sweet, sweet, saintly smile of infinite patience.
So, basically, I guess I’m saying I’d like to be ignored. Or better yet, understood. Because I apparently find dirty looks very inspiring, and not in the good sort of way.
Somehow, I feel the above post would’ve been improved had I paid attention to what I was writing…
“Thump”, not “thumb” — stare AT me, not WITH me.
*sigh*
I find it kind of reassuring to see kids throwing tantrums — “AHA, it would seem ALL human beings can be terrible! Good, I’d forgotten that,” and give a smile if I make eye contact with the parent. I have to say, the only time I’m annoyed is when a child starts screaming curse words at their parents – the ones who *cough* //give them life//… which is probably quite extreme of me because most three-year-olds don’t even know the word respect, much less what that actually means. (I have to say, though, occasionally when I see a child throwing a tantrum and a long-suffering parent trying to calm him/her, I think to myself ‘It’s futile, lady.’ Being young, I remember my early childhood well-enough to know that a tantrum will be stopped by very few things.)
In other news, I thought I’d just let you know that I came across your blog today, and I found it interesting so um… hi! Resident stalker/watcher/reader/whatever saying hello.