I’m not averse to people showing me a little (‘little’ being the operative word) pity on the odd occasion. I mean it isn’t like my life is in shambles or fraught with tragedy – alhamdulillah I have lots to be thankful for – but there is the rare occasion when I need someone to say, “Oh you poor thing.”
Simply having three boys is NOT one of those times.
My boys are active and they can’t sit still..can’t they just sit still for FIVE minutes? And why do they have to touch things all the time? but they’re healthy, smart, giving and mashaAllah loving children.
They’re high-need children and I cannot get a moment to myself during the day (except today alhamdulillah when 5 year old is at school,2 year old is at mum’s and 5 month old is asleep). I dread having to visit people’s homes because their quiet sitting time is about 7 minutes after which my boys will invariably start touching things (is that a boy thing or just a kid thing or is it a parent thing ie I can’t control my children?). They’re messy and destructive and it takes a lot of cajoling to get them to co-operate with the cleaning up.
They’re fun. They are so full of life. They wake up ready to tackle anything and everything and always in HAPPY moods (when was the last time you did that?). They make up straight away after a fight and alhamdulillah they are quick to forgive and FORGET my mistakes. They never brood – we say we’re sorry and it’s all finished. Their boundless energy keeps me active. They’re inquisitive which forces me to learn more about the world around us. They love unconditionally.
So next time I tell you I am mum to 3 boys don’t have that look of pity on your face. Say, “MashaAllah” and be happy for me 
Edit – I fixed that HORRIBLE TYPO!
Salaam;
I think (hope!….) it’s just a little boy thing. This week we’ve been staying at my mother’s and so far I’ve…
1. Done a bazillion loads of laundry
2. Vacuumed every two seconds
3. Cleaned chocolate handprints off the white couch
4. Used tape to try and fix a ripped up blind
5. Creatively arranged a curtain to hide damage done to window shades
And I’ve still got left…
1. Clean house (again)
2. Bazillion loads of laundry
3. A stopped up toilet
…and those are just the things I currently know about. I’ll be glad when we are home and it’s just MY things they are destroying!
I think children are wonderful!
I am a mum of 3 girls and yes, I tear my hair out many times a day trying to get everything done.
Would never change this busy lifestyle for anything.
Definately a challenge but very rewarding as you say – they forgive so quickly for any mistakes.
We stay at home a lot because it’s just easier when you are where you have everything you need in the comfort of your own home.
I have people at shopping centres giving me those “pitty looks”.
A lady came up to me last week at woolworths and said “wow – you must be a really patient person to have so many little kids”. I thought – people have a lot more kids than me – why do I need pitty?
On a different day last week we were in Big W buying my 10mth old some nappies and I had one dad approach me about which nappies he should buy and then a lady asking me about what bottles and sip cups did I use. This was in about a 10 min period.
Wow – do I look like an expert? I don’t feel like one even after 3 kids.
People make me laugh!!!
“(is that a boy thing or just a kid thing or is it a parent thing ie I can’t control my children?).”
it ain’t a boy thing! well, not from my experience with my nearly 3 year old girl, and my regular care of my friend’s 2 year old daughter. it’s a kid thing.
the way i see it, kids are like puppies. they need the opportunity to run and run and RUN and blow off all that wriggly energy the have. they’re super-curious; they want to touch (puppies sniff) EVERYHTING to find out what is it, how does it work, what can i do with it, how it feels. they like to jump off things, they eat quickly and exuberantly and then disappear, leaving chaos in their wake, joyfully yelling (barking) the whole time. they have very little sense, but the physical skills, like running, of an adult, which means they can find themselves in awkward or dangerous situations. Their limbs (paws) are too big for their bodies, so they can seem a bit unco, which can be very frustrating for them. They get dirty all the time and are full of kisses (licks). They are very cute and endaering and you just want to hug them all the time, but they have a tendency to wee on things, break valuable vases, be noisy when you wish they wouldn’t and be uncontrollable when you want order.
Whenever i get frustrated with my daughters tasnmanian-devil-like energy (she really does seem like a mini tornedo) i just remind myself, “she’s like a puppy. this is what they do. surrender” Would i get frustrated with a puppy? Maybe, but I’d also be very aware that that’s just what puppies DO, and you can’t expect more from them. It;’s not fair to, and any adult who makes you feel bad becuase you’re children are boisterous and curious either has never had kids, or was never a child themselves. I’m not sayng not to have disciplinary standards or to teach children proper bahviour, but I guess we just need to have realistic expectations of what they can do.
I don’t mean disrespect to juxtapose kids and puppies, either. YEs, they obviously have their differneces, but i think the similarities are pretty strong, too. So if you’re puppy chewed your favourite table cloth, or your child (boy OR girl) stuffs ceramic flowers down the toilet and clogs it and necessitates calling in the plumber (as ours has done!), just roll with it. your kids are great and totally normal, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
woof!
I saw a woman with 3 young boys today at the Y and i thought of you. The only reason they were sitting still was probably because they were eating. My kids can’t keep still, both my daughter and son.
I think it will be so nice for your sons when they get a little older to have each other, and for you too. My mom had 5 girls before having 2 boys and i really feel blessed to have ALL of my sisters. But when i was younger i would get upset at my mom when she would have another baby. And i gave her some of trouble too
But when we all got older it’s like we’re best friends and so happy just to have each other. It’s so fun when we’re all together. So yah, it’s difficult and frustrating so have so many kids, but soon when they are dashing young men it will be wonderful 
inshaAllah. May Allah keep them healthy and happy for you and guide them to the straight path.
Thanks for commenting.
b. : I’m sure your mother wouldn’t have it any other way! We’re renting at the moment and my boys have destroyed every. single. blind in the home. Luckily, they were due to be replaced anyway (the blinds not the boys). Vertocal blinds aren’t really very child-friendly – now we have curtains alhamdulillah and it looks as though they may last a bit longer inshaAllah.
Courtney: You know why people ask you for advice? Because you are one of the most calm, patient mothers I have ever seen. I never see you flustered. Ever.
susan: When are we going to see a blog from you?
I understand exactly what you mean about puppies and little children. A lot of the time I’m guilty of expecting adult behaviour from my very young children and it’s just not fair. It’s something I struggle with a lot with my eldest. He’s mashaallah very mature for his age but there are times when he actually acts his age and I think that he’s being childish. Hello? He’s a child! Also I think society plays a part in that, too. There doesn’t seem to be any sympathy or understanding for children’s behaviour in public. They’re supposed to be quiet, attentive, calm and polite ALL THE TIME.
Um Ibrahim: Thanks for your kind words. I knew it would be hard but gosh I had no idea there would be days when I would feel like running away. Far, far away. Ameen to your duas.