Archive for September, 2007


Comments, phrases and opinions guaranteed to increase your blog comments or better yet, start a blog war.

For Mummy Bloggers:

1. Boob Nazi. Cue horrified breastfeeding advocates resenting being associated with “that word” or “those people.” Someone else will say “ANTI-SEMITISM” and then everyone is quiet and they’ve forgotten what they were arguing about until another will pipe up about the conspiracy that is formula milk so we should all feel sorry for the bottlefed people, really.

2. I feel sorry for stay at home mothers. Cue like minded people who say things like “What must they DO with their time and how are they helping this country sitting on their fat bums all day watching Oprah and Dr Phil?” Stay at home mothers will get on the defensive and start blaming all the ills of society on the fact that children were put into daycare and raised by strangers just because mothers wanted to go out and drink coffee in an office.

3. I really need to take a break from my children. Cue parents lamenting about how awful a parent you must be to actually want to be away from the children – I mean after all, you helped MAKE them! They are designed to be worn all the time and you are most certainly not allowed ANY time for yourself. Only selfish people want “me-time” whatever happened to FAMILY time etc. Counterattack by other parents making comments about attachment parents/gentle mothering (usually called (s)mothering) and breastfeeding their children until they are 12 years of age.

4. I trained my baby to sleep… Cue happy parents who have also done this with their children and way to go it was hard but worth it in the end; babies need to cry before they sleep; I waited 50 minutes before I went in there to clean his vomit; I really needed to do it, I was desperate for sleep and so on. Counterattack by mothers MORTIFIED and angry that anyone could do such a thing to their baby; sending message of total rejection; this is CHILD ABUSE IN IT’S (sic) MOST BASIC FORM etc etc.

5. Any mention of childbirth, be it caesarian, homebirth, epidural or other forms of pain relief. Cue mothers opposed to any or all of the above. Because we all know the sort of birth experience you have dramatically impacts on your child and a “bad” birth is the leading cause of violence and drug abuse amongst teens.

For Muslim bloggers: View full article »

You know how when like (oh gosh my high school English teacher just had a conniption then) one gets a haircut and then upon returning home, one cannot resist the urge to go past the mirror at least 1873 times marvelling at how wonderful one looks? And one must bounce and flounce up the hair every 2.3 seconds?

Then you know how one imagines oneself getting compliments from friends and family on how beautiful said haircut is? And then you know how one rehearses in one’s head what one will say in return “Yes, she’s a genius, isn’t my hairdresser- what she’s done with my hair and oh how wonderful it is to have this new layered look and it’s so easy to manage and yes I am very pretty, thankyou.”?

Ahem.

Yeah, neither do I.

I have spent a wonderful weekend relaxing after contracting an illness that ladies, I am sure you will be bound to empathise and men, well you don’t very often get it so you might need to check with the lady in the house as to what exactly I am talking about. Let me just give you a small clue and say, CRANBERRY JUICE anyone?

Back to our normal programming here at Channel Tasmiya as alhamdulillah I am all ok now. While I am trying to garner a small bit of sympathy, please go over and wish dear Achelois some warm, friendly uplifting comments as she has been suffering with medical afflictions more serious than mine (YES I DIDN’T THINK SO EITHER BUT IT IS INDEED POSSIBLE). Bless.

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