Archive for October, 2007


Article:

Prime Minister John Howard was called a “disgrace” today by an early morning walker.

Mr Howard was enjoying his regular early morning walk along the shore of Lake Burley Griffin when another walker shouted at him.

“You’re a disgrace John,” the man said.

“You’re such a bad economic manager.”

Mr Howard ignored the man, but a fellow walker defended the prime minister.

“Shut up you idiot,” a young man said in defence of Mr Howard.

“It isn’t his bad economic management that’s made him a disgrace,” the young man continued. “It’s his platform of race driven politics and his constant refusal to take responsibility for any of his mistakes or those of his ministers. It’s how he used xenophobia and hate-filled stereotypes to win the last election all the while LYING to the Australian people. It’s his refusal to ratify the Kyoto Protocol and his lackadaisical attitude to climate change. It’s his blatant denial of atrocities caused by previous governments on the countries earliest settlers and his refusal to offer an apology to bridge the gap and help a people who till this day are struggling. It’s his utter contempt and disdain for the Australian people who wish more from their leader than just tax cuts close to the election.”

The two hecklers hi-fived, while the Prime Minister continued walking muttering “Gay Aboriginal Muslim feminist commo-lefty tree hugging terrorist druggie scum. Get out of this country!”

Dear People Who Made My Washing Machine,

I am writing to you to express my disappointment with your product. For a company who purports to make life good for families I am afraid you are doing a very poor job. My old THOR washing machine has served me very well for the past 10 years without need of advice on care, maintenance and with parts always in functional order. Unfortunately due to wear and tear, the water pump stopped working and I was advised it would be cheaper to purchase a brand new washing machine than continue to replace parts for my old one.

Having 3 young children, my main concern was any electronic gizmo in the form of a washing machine be completely CHILD PROOF so Child Lock was a necessity. After speaking with a dealer, having made clear that child lock was the most important feature in my purchasing, I was advised that the top of the range washer FROM YOUR COMPANY was indeed the best way to go.

After installation imagine my horror when I read the manual stating that your child lock facility meant that all buttons except the power button are made inoperable. How can this be called “Child Lock”? Furthermore, once the power button is pressed, the machine FORGETS the stage of the cycle it was in and I must then start the wash all over again. If the idea of child lock is to prevent the child from interrupting and changing the wash cycle, then please explain how allowing the OFF button to remain operational helps me do this.

When I called your customer service a very polite woman explained due to safety reasons, your company felt it was in everyone’s best interest to have this paltry excuse of a “child lock.” I understand that safety is a real consideration when designing any product but please give parents SOME credit that we actually know how to operate the PLUG IN THE WALL to switch off the machine should an emergency arise.

I asked your employee how I am supposed to overcome this obstacle and she so helpfully suggested I teach my child “not to touch that one particular button.” If I could teach my child not to touch particular buttons then WHY WOULD I NEED A CHILD LOCK IN THE FIRST PLACE? I can only deduce that your company’s idea of “child lock” is to lock the child away from the machine.

Really, are you trying to be deliberately alienate and patronise your parent customers?

My dealer has organised to have your washing machine taken away. I want nothing to do with this poor excuse for a family washing machine or your company until such time you can show me you can actually make life good for me.

Thank you.

-Annoyed

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