Category: Humour


How well do you know your spouse?

Filed Under: Humour by Tasmiya — Leave a comment
May 25, 2005

The title sounds a little ominous. Whenever people ask me what my husband does for a living I cringe. I never know what exactly to say. I have a hard time explaining it to others when I don’t quite understand it myself.

Most of the time, I’ll just say “He does computer things” and if the person is as computer illiterate as I am, that’s enough and everyone is happy. If on the other hand, the other person has some interest or knowledge about computers, they will ask, “What exactly does he do?” or “Hardware or software” “Linux or windows”. A nervous laugh and a change of subject doesn’t always work (yes, I’ve tried it). Sometimes if I’m not really in a mood for chatting, I’ll say “He’s a system administrator for the Children’s Hospital” so they think he’s some hot-shot doctor.

Yesterday, I thought I really should get to know this person I married and his love for all things computerised and technical. I found one of his computer magazines lying around. It was was absolute horror I read the front cover:

SECRETS REVEALED: Catching Hackers in the Act!

MIX IT UP : How to mix retro fashion items with the newest stuff instore? Nope. Recipes for Cocktails? Nope. It was actually about Mixing Mac, UNIX, and Active Directory

PRACTICAL TIPS AND TECHNIQUES : How to build a desk? Nope. How to get the kids to listen? Nope..It was about Responding to a Network Breach

That was all I could take. I threw the book on the floor as the realisation dawned on me – My husband was reading the COSMO of the computer world. Not only is he a computer nerd, but I am sure after seeing his magazine, he is indeed the bimbo of technet. Oh the shame!!!

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My new appliances

Filed Under: Humour, Parenting by Tasmiya — Leave a comment
April 14, 2005

I am now the proud owner of two very sophisticated household appliances: The Whingimatic 2000 and the Klingon 2003 (no relation to the Star Trek version) . Unfortunately, after an extensive search of our house I’ve discovered they did not come with a manual or instructions of any kind so I’m left to my own devices when it comes to maintenance.

After doing a little study of the appliances, this is what I know of them so far–>

The Whingimatic 2000 :

  • Potters along quite nicely until you give it an instruction when it will suddenly fall on the floor, making an incredibly annoying sound much like fingernails down the chalkboard
  • Noise continues regardless of what you do (I’ve tried explaining, distracting and even ignoring. Ignoring does work to varying degrees)
  • Most of the time this product is quite low maintenance, requiring the smallest doses of sustenance throughout the day to ensure maximum energy output till about 9 every night (when batteries need recharging)
  • Use with care in the vicinity of Klingon 2003!

    • The Klingon 2003 :

  • Never go out of eyesight of this appliance or you will soon hear about it
  • Can be playing quite happily but the moment you need to do something eg. talk on phone or sit and have breakfast, Klingon will spring out of nowhere grab your clothing and pull hard until attention is on it
  • Don’t even think about going to the toilet without it
  • Has built in artificial intelligence – learns and mimics all bad habits (and no good ones) from Whingimatic
  • Batteries need recharging in the middle of the day – failure to do so will result in family irritability
  • Some malfunction in the recharging process means that one needs to ensure appliance is fully plugged into its dummy several times a night

    • Both products will perform effortlessly and without incident when at my mother’s home especially after a rather horrid day at home. (And not that I would ever want to!) both appliances come with a strict “no returns” policy.

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