I can remember the reactions I saw from various friends and family members when I spoke about my intention to homeschool my son. There were those who just answered with silence. Some raised their eyebrows, looked at each other and sniggered like they were sharing an inside joke. Others were genuinely interested and supported my decision. Then there were those who seemed to take it as an attack on their choice to send their children to school or as an attack on the state/federal/Islamic school system and immediately went on the defensive on why homeschooling was not a good idea not just for themselves but for me, too.
I started attending a homeschooling playgroup and met a group of wonderful mothers. We were all so different & from a myriad of backgrounds yet united in our decision to school our children at home. Information and advice was passed back and forth without hesitation and the children were happy to share their favourite toys during free play time. I was truly blessed by knowing these people.
Then came Year 1 and under pressure from family, I decided against continuing my homeschooling. I was reluctant to tell my homeschooling friends of my plans for the new year. I was sure I would be met with the same reactions as the schooling parents. I misjudged and underestimated my homeschooling friends. They did not attack, ridicule or offend me. They listened, sympathised and not once judged me.
I was invited to continue attending the playgroup since I still had younger children who technically I *was* still homeschooling but I felt I had best leave the space for a true homeschooling family. I was touched by their ongoing support and even if they disagreed with my decision or thought I was making a mistake, they never once made me feel inadequate as a parent or as an educator of my children. I even called one mother who is a qualified teacher and racked her brain with my saga about which school to choose for my son.
I haven’t kept in contact with them through no fault but my own laziness and part of me is embarrassed that I didn’t have the fortitude to keep up with schooling at home.
The homeschooling parents I know are confident in their choice of education for their children so don’t need to ridicule or belittle anyone or feel they have to defend their decision (unless of course they get asked that dreaded socialisation question!)
This is why I love them.
yeah, i get the looks too when i say i’m a big fan of home-schooling. not that i’m considering it or even qulaified enough to consider it, but i do think it’s the ideal environment and pace for a child to really learn!
hats off that you did it at all.
You know, I have never been a fan of homeschooling but that is because I have a very bad temper and because I’m a teacher
Plus, children are not really homeschooled in England so the idea didn’t sit with me. I see that many parents homeschool in the US and now you say Oz so there MUST be good in it.
Every parent wants the best for their child and no one will deliberately make wrong decisions. I think everyone should accept this.
I know a few homeschoolers, and their children are just fine, smart, well adjusted and ahead of their class if they were in a public school. But it is not for everyone, and I know you made the right decision.
Ya Haqq!
Ah shucks, how do I respond to such a sweet blog entry.
The way I look at it, mums should support each other more. Only mums can understand what other mums are going through.
(Gotta stick together when the toddlers are biting our ankles, the preschoolers are hogging our computers and the baby always has something to say…LOUDLY and urgently).
We should be patting each other on the backs (or as the toddler would want, giving each other star stickers on our foreheads) and propping each other up in hard times instead of judging each other harshly when we chose different paths for the same goal.
That’s really the only difference between school mums and homeschool mums. They’ve picked different ways to teach their kids how to read, write and count. It’s the same challenge – education – but different ways of achieving it.
One way isn’t better than the other. It all comes down to what is best for the people involved. What makes them sigh contently at the end of the day.
And Tasmiya, your position at playgroup has never been filled. We just couldn’t find anyone that could fill your shoes. So we’ve had to hold your position open, waiting hopefully that one day you’ll return or at least visit so we can catch up on the goss.
So you see, you just can’t get rid us of homeschoolers. We are just such a nice mob of people. Hehehe! *Evil grin*
Drop me an email some time and we can catch up. I can tell you about Ethan reading all by himself now after only 3 weeks of officially being homeschooled for grade one. Or how the boys have started gymnastics and are now trampolining and swining their Fridays away. Or how a homeschooling family has just moved in next door. What are the odds of two of us “oddballs” leaving side by side?!! And of course I’ll want to hear all about Master Z’s grade two, and how Mister D is getting along at home with a younger brother, and all about the cute antics of the baby who I still haven’t met.
Yes you’re right, homeschoolers do cringe when people bring up the dreaded “S” topic. If only we weren’t so social we might actually get some bookwork done!! But fear not Tasmiya, for you, we’d drop everything to enjoy your company again.
Always checking out your blog,
Tracey
Salamaat,
Awww what a sweet post. I am considering Homeschooling and my family/friends have had similar reactions…they think I want to destroy my child’s future.
There is a lot of support in the US too; and statistics do show that they are just as competent as other students.
mommyhood is such a hard/grey area to negotiate. You never know what is the bestest decision to make in the long run…but whatever works for your situation that is indeed the best. Sigh.
I think to each their own – there are valid reasons for choosing any schooling option, you just need the right kind of people to make ANY of them work well for the kids!
Mona: I suppose people are wary because they don’t know much about it. I did do it for a year and it was very hard but tons of fun too.
Suroor: It seems as though it has quite the following in US. Not so much here. It’s still pretty “way out.”
Irving: I too think I made the best decision for me and my family. I can’t help but fantasise some days of what our days might be like had I continued the homeschooling. *sigh*
Tracey: You are too kind! I will take you up on that offer – I know I’ve been promising and promising and then there is always something happening and there is my ever-present laziness!
Maliha: Exactly! If it works for you and your family then go for it.
Alyndabear: You said it so well. It’s the right kind of teacher that makes all the difference.
Tasmiya – it would be great to see you back at playgroup! The more boys the merrier!
All the best
Joel, Anne-Marie, Max, Matthew, Melody and baby #4 (due late July 07)