Oh my gosh three posts in a day. I am ON FIRE!

I think everyone has a wierd person who lives on their street. We have a hoarder (not confirmed but deduced from the numbers of boxes and bottles sitting outside her front door for over 4 years.) A wierd man who walks around his front yard without a shirt or shoes and proceeds to mow his lawn. I’m not a gawker and I don’t check men out but really and I say this with only love and deep concern for his safety and wellbeing – this man should not be shirtless. Ever. He needs to wear his shirt in the shower. In the bath. All the time. He shouldn’t even take it off to change shirts. He should hose himself down (with the shirt on of course) and hang himself to dry.

Back to our hoarder. She’s a blonde blue eyed old lady called Sharon* I see her walking down the street with loads of plastic bags searching in nearby bins. She takes what she needs and carries on walking. I caught her moving half a tree down the street and promptly placing it in our wheelie bin..until she saw me and then took the offending tree out and and placed it in the bin across the street. Maybe she isn’t a hoarder if she’s throwing stuff out. Maybe she’s cured.

To digress here a minute, I really have no idea what the etiquette is when one has so much rubbish and one’s bin is full up. I don’t see the problem with anyone putting stuff in my bin (unless it’s a dismembered body or any dead creature even if it’s whole) although I would hope in general that if someone is thinking of putting their junk in someone else’s bin (not a euphemism) they would be asking first.

The other day, she was taking a leisurely stroll down the street and as I waved my hello she smiled and waved back and picked up my local newspaper, took off the plastic cover and the rubber band, carefully replaced my newspaper on the ground and kept walking. She did the same to the neigbour’s houses. All along the street. The people next door came home to a soggy paper! I didn’t know what to say.

Then there was the mysterious good Samaritan putting everyone’s recycling bin out. The whole street’s recycling bins were placed neatly awaiting the rubbish collection van. It wasn’t even RECYCLING DAY. I am sure the culprit is Sharon. She has thing for rubbish.

*Patently a lie as I don’t wish for her to come and kill me in my sleep one day

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