No, not the pregnant kind. Just the usual run of the mill sugar cravings. I gots them.

And since you are reading this blog and that of course automatically means you want to know everything about me I shall tell you why I have the sugar cravings:

diet.

I’m on it.

Not to lose weight but to bulk up and become she-woman. I am bench pressing 30 kg people. THIRTY. (With someone helping me – does that count? I can do plenty if someone is helping me) So here’s what my diet consists of -

1. NOTHING SWEET except for fruit and we all know that the sweetness of fruit cannot compare to the sugary goodness of a chocolate bar or chocolate cake or cheesecake or SUGAR IN MY TEA I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR A SMALL TASTE OF THOSE DELICATE CRYSTALS OF MELT IN THE MOUTH SYRUPY SWEETNESS I WILL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND IF YOU WOULD JUST GO AND BUY ME A PACKET OF CHOCOLATE BISCUITS JUST ONE PLEASE.

2. Chicken breast and lots of it. It’s bland and dry and I’m totally over it.

3.  Water. What is with that? I’m expected to drink water? WHY WOULD I DO THAT??? Seriously, I hate drinking water. I would much prefer to drink milk (not on my list of “allowed” foods) or coke (definitely not on my list)

4. Broccoli and cauliflower.

5. Brown rice – apparently the carb of choice. It’s quite nice but it does get a bit boring.

It may surprise you to know I have stuck this out for nearly THREE months. Heck, it’s surprised me. Although in my first 2 months I was allowed a free meal every week which to me meant I could eat all day and whatever I wanted but I think that was going a bit overboard -whoops.

So I have two weeks till the final weigh in and measuring.

The first thing I am going to do when I’ve finished is eat a whole chocolate cake. By myself.

Edited to add: I’m really not that wonderful – I am allowed more vegetables than just broccoli and cauliflower – that’s just what I’ve been eating of late. And I succumbed and ate 2 ferreros last night.

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