Tasmiya

More Conversations

Monday, November 3rd, 2008 | Conversations | 1 Comment

Tasmiya: Hey mum, who did you get to mow your lawn?

Mum: Shane the gardener.

Tasmiya: Shane the gardener? Don’t you mean Paul the gardener?

Mum: Oh no. I couldn’t let Paul do it. 

Tasmiya: Why not?

Mum: He always smells good. He puts on aftershave! Aftershave!

Tasmiya: Well….yeah..and?

Mum:  Who puts on aftershave to mow the lawn??

Tasmiya:…………

Mum: He was much too classy. He talked too politely on the phone.

Tasmiya: ………

Mum: Too professional for my liking. 

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Husband: You know I can’t keep on buying you chocolates everytime you have a bad day. It’s really not good for you.

Tasmiya: Yes, you are right. 

Husband: We’re both on this strict diet and we have to stick to it.

Tasmiya: Of course!

Husband: You’ve worked so hard and this chocolate business has to stop.

Tasmiya: *sigh*  Ok that picnic bar I had last night was the last one I will have for a very long time.

(pause)

Husband: I actually bought two.

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Tasmiya: So there’s another one?

Husband: Yep.

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Tasmiya (pumping fist in the air): YES!!!!!

Husband: Let me guess…the diet will start ….

Tasmiya: TOMORROW!

Husband: *sigh*  That’s what I thought.

Sense of Humour

Friday, July 11th, 2008 | Conversations, Humour | 4 Comments

Husband makes me laugh. It’s one of the million things I simply adore about him. Say mashaAllah!

Uncontrollably/until my stomach hurts/wee came out/giggling like a little girl.

Husband (who is also doing this diet along with me): My stomach is growling so much, everyone at work will think I’m farting at them.

Tasmiya: Oh?

Husband: I’ll just tell them, “Not ‘at’….’WITH’..”

Conversations with toddlers and pre schoolers.

Tuesday, May 27th, 2008 | Conversations, Humour, Parenting | 5 Comments

Me: So do you think the sun will be really bright when we walk out of the house?

4 year old: I just did a fart.

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2 year old: Mum. Mum. Mum. Mum. Mum. Mum. Mum. Mum. Mum. Mum. Mum. Mum.

Me (up to my elbows in washing): Yes?

2 year old: Mum. Mum. MUM. MUM. MUM. MUM! MUM! MUM! MUM! MUM! MUM! MUM!

Me: What happened? Is everything ok?

2 year old: MUM! MUM! MUM! MUM! MUM! MUM! MUM! MUM! MUM!

Me(rushing to get to next room): Yes. Ok I’m here. What is it?

2 year old: Umm…. Mum?

Me: YES??!

2 year old: Ummm…. Ummm…..

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Life with a 2 year old

Thursday, March 27th, 2008 | Conversations, Humour, Parenting | 6 Comments

2 year old: I want roti sugar!

Tasmiya: Here you go.

2 year old: No, I don’t want roti sugar!

I want noodles!

Tasmiya: *sigh* OK. Let me make it for you.

(places bowl of noodles on table)

2 year old: I don’t want noodles!

Tasmiya: How about you try to make a wee in the toilet.

2 year old: I don’t want to make a wee!

Tasmiya: Ok fine, just don’t go and make it on the carpet - call me if you need to go and I will help you.

(moments later)

2 year old: I MADE A WEE ON THE CARPET!

Tasmiya: ARGGHGH!

2 year old: I want to go see Naani.

Tasmiya: We have things to do at home so maybe another day.

2 year old: BUT I WANT TO SEE NAANI!!

(managing to get all house stuff in order, get the boys ready and drive to Mum’s. Pull into the driveway)

2 year old: Awww I didn’t want to come HERE!

Tasmiya: *sigh*

A Rose By Any Other Name

Wednesday, March 12th, 2008 | Australiana, Conversations, Humour | 5 Comments

I’ve never been much of name dropper and sadly it’s because I’ve never had any names to drop.

UNTIL NOW.

Guess who came to dinner? He has his own WIKI for goodness sake! It was a wonderful evening mashaAllah, he came bearing a stack of gifts from his beautiful wife, and the kids just adored him.

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BEFORE

Farhad: Do you think I can call him Wal or Wally?

Tasmiya: You are NOT calling him “Wal” or “Wally” or anything else. He’s WRITTEN A BOOK! People called “Wally” play rugby league (not union) and they DON’T WRITE BOOKS.

Farhad: What about QWALID like Talib KWELI? (obscene language warning)

Tasmiya: No!

Farhad: Awwww!

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Tasmiya: I dare you to stand near the arrival gate with a sign when you pick him up from the airport.

Farhad: You’re on.

The sign?:

“SUSAN’S HUSBAND”

Farhad actually did it, much to the amusement of Waleed and many other passengers disembarking.

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DURING

Tasmiya: Let Uncle Waleed show you what…is it ok if they call you “Uncle?”

Waleed: Sure, I don’t mind what they call me.

Tasmiya (thinking): Oh dear God, please don’t let Farhad call him “Wal.”

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AFTER

4 year old: Hey, remember when Uncle Woolley came and he drew the Batman sign?

Tasmiya: Yes, I do remember. It was really nice, wasn’t it? You know his name is Waleed.

4 year old: Uncle WILLY? His name is WILLY? HIS NAME IS WILLY??!!

Tasmiya: No, WaleeeeeD.

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You’re pretty alright, Susan’s Husband.

The In Tune with his Feelings Child

Friday, February 29th, 2008 | Conversations, Parenting | 5 Comments

You know what I’m talking about, right? There are children who cry for no apparent reason - most of the time they don’t even know why they are teary or angry or upset. Then there are those rare ones who seem to know exactly what is wrong, be able to verbalise it, sure they have a cry but quickly they move on - happy that their feelings have been heard and acknowledged.

My four year old is one such child.

An example:

D: So when Wudsie died then we only had Adam.

Tasmiya: Yes Adam was all by himself.

D: Then Noodles came. But if Adam dies then Noodles will be by himself and then if Noodles dies then we will have no cats.

Tasmiya: That’s right. No more cats. Unless we decide we want another one.

D: I don’t want another one.

Tasmiya: That’s ok then.

D: (Beginning to sob) I want Wud-you back. I want Wud-you to come back.

Tasmiya: Oh my darling. He can’t come back. I can’t bring him back.

D: (More heartfelt weeping) I loved him so much! Adam was always mean to him and Wud-you was so nice.

Tasmiya: (Hugging him and crying too) Yeah, Adam was very mean, wasn’t he?

D: It isn’t fair! Wudsie was the nice cat!

Tasmiya: No. It isn’t fair. You miss him don’t you? We all miss him. He was a wonderful cat.

D: Yes. I miss him so much.

D: Can I have a chocolate?

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The finality of death covered? Check!

Life goes on regardless covered? Check!

The unfairness of death covered? Check!

Chocolate heals what ails you - Check!

Guaranteed to be said at Dinnertime

Thursday, January 24th, 2008 | Conversations, Humour, Parenting | 6 Comments

Proudly brought to you by 4 year old:

“Actually, mum. I was only joking when I said I wanted more…”

“My stomach hurts.”

“I didn’t say I wanted this!!” When in actually fact, the other 4 in household are sure he did.

“I’ll just have toast and maple syrup.”

“So…even if I don’t finish this, I still get dessert? Cool!” Umm..No.

“This part has gone rotten.” In the time it’s taken to get from the pot to the plate?

“Actually, I wasn’t hungry when I started eating.”

“Do I have to finish all of this??”

“But I already ate at lunchtime!”

A Typical Argument at Our Place

Wednesday, January 16th, 2008 | Conversations, Domestic Bliss, Humour | 10 Comments

Him: (incoherent mumble)

Her: What did you say?

Him: Oh, nothing. I was just doing my usual passive-aggressive thing.

Her: (upset) But I’m supposed to be the passive-aggressive one and YOU’RE the one supposed to be annoyed by ME!

Him: No, it’s the other way around, don’t you remember?

Her: NO! I don’t remember that.

Him: OK! FINE! YOU CAN BE THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ONE!

Her: No, it’s ok. I don’t mind. You can be it.

Him: Oh dear, no. I’d hate to take away from your calling.

Her: No. Actually I insist. You be the passive-aggressive one. I’ll just have to find another personality disorder.

But that’s really ok.

I don’t mind.

Don’t worry about it.

*sighs*

Him: *sighs*

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EVERYBODY! ROCK YOUR BODY!

Yes, backstreet’s I’m back!

Alright!

I think I needed a bit of time away from computer stuff and I thank each and every one of you who left comments and sent emails and text messages (well, it was only one text message but it was much appreciated and made me feel very loved.)

You guys are awesome.

So buckle up..it’s going to be a bumpy ride..arms in vehicle at all times…no smoking etc etc