So I was thinking YES MY BRAIN HURTS NOW WHY DO YOU ASK? the other day.
I hate lectures for Muslimahs. They’re either about our role as wives and mothers (nothing else of course) or even worse they’re about what we are NOT obligated to do (we don’t HAVE to cook or clean if we don’t want to, you know. The men of the household also need to help out with the housework, we are allowed to get educated, there is a shortage of Muslimah doctors etc etc). It isn’t that I don’t think women need to be educated about these little tidbits. I’m all for it. What really gets my goat is that the same Imam will not tell the MEN of the community the same thing. Why do they bother telling the women these things when it’s most often the men who need to be told. TIME AND TIME AGAIN.
I can remember when I was in highschool, we were unfortunate to have a male student who thought it was his right to touch any girl he fancied. So what does the school do? Call all the girls for an emergency meeting. I’m not saying it was a waste of time – our deputy principal told us that girls can do anything, that we don’t have to be touched in that way (unless of course we wanted to be *giggle giggle giggle*) and I’m sure she told us what to do if we were confronted with this situation (I really can’t remember, but I would hate to think she DIDN’T tell us this vital piece of information). All I kept thinking was, “Where are the boys?” (Having lunch, apparently.)
Where was the talk for the boys telling them how they SHOULD be treating women (as human beings in case you’re wondering, boys). Where was the lecture telling them that if they ever touched up a girl uninvited, that it’s a CRIME. I imagine this particular boy either did not have any male role models or just had the worst kind of role models. So what else is he going to learn if that’s all he’s exposed to? I hate to think what happened to him.
Where are the khutbahs telling men they should not beat their wives and daughters; that they should not only allow but encourage their daughters to be educated? Where is the khutbah telling men to help out with the housework once in a while you lazy sods?
I’m really tired of being “educated” of my role in society. I’m tired of being told that I have a right to walk around freely without fear of molestation. I am sick to death of being told that I don’t HAVE to cook and clean for my husband and family if I don’t want to. I’m tired of being told that husbands should not beat their wives and that women have a right to be treated with kindness.
Tell it to those who don’t get it. Tell it to those in positions of power who use their brute strength or just the whole patriarchal society to take advantage of women. Tell it to those who NEED to change because you know what?
I’m done listening.
Addendum: There seems to be a bit of confusion. Even husband read this entry and looked at me as if I was nuts. This post wasn’t supposed to be about Islam. No I do not have a problem with Islam. I’m still Muslim for goodness sake. I don’t have a problem with how the texts are interpreted.
Ok now that that’s settled. The point YES I HAD ONE, PEOPLE! I was trying to make is that you can’t just educate women on how they should be treated and what their role is in the world unless you educate the MEN at the same time. Let’s say a woman is being beaten to a pulp by her husband practically every night. A girl is being told she cannot go to school and she has to learn cooking and cleaning now because she has reached puberty. Another woman is being hassled by a man with whom she has told countless of times she is NOT INTERESTED. They attend a lecture where the lecturer (please note – no religion) tells the women, “Yo! Listen up chickybabes. Men aren’t supposed to be hurting you. Yo you young things who are going out to become doctors – the next generation need good role models..you go girl! And those men who are harrassing you. That is NOT ON. Then the next day, he addresses the men and says, “OK, Listen up y’all. Today we are going to talk cars.”
Do you see my point? Who is in power? Men. Whether we like it or not, it’s a patriarchy. There is only so much a battered woman can do to try to teach her husband another way to communicate and manage his anger. There is only so much a woman can do to tell a man to get lost and leave her alone. Men need to be taught what is acceptable and appropriate behaviour. Whether we are talking about behaviour for Muslim men or non-Muslim men, it doesn’t matter. You can’t educate women ONLY and leave the men to think everything is hunky dory.
This is why I’m not listening anymore.
