Tasmiya

I thought of calling this post “Randomz” but then figured, I’d stay true to my generation instead of pretending I’m young and hip.

1. So tired! Gah! I guess I should expect it, I’m older and pregnant and have three children to take care of. My body cannot possibly keep me going at my normal pace AND grow a baby. I had my scan last week and the results are a little scary. Make dua that doctor says we are all worrying unnecessarily and that baby is indeed growing and make dua that doctor is right, please!

2. Our house is getting painted. Not all by itself, natch. We decided to go with the professionals because if we were to do it ourselves it would never get done and if it ever did get done, it would be such a grossly amateurish job that we’d have to call a professional to fix it up anyway. Alhamdulillah we have a family friend doing the job and that means I can leave him in the house without worrying about my valuables and my underwear. Which to me are one in the same thing. Ahem. Moving on.

3. He said that the house would be in disarray until he is finished and all up it would take about a week or so. OH. MY. GOD. He was not kidding. Furniture is all pushed to the middle of the room and curtains are masking taped up and away from the window sills. I try to vacuum daily but there is dust and dirt the very next day. Good Lord. I was just getting my home in order and now it’s gone to pieces. Whatever will people say????

4. Ramadan is coming up. Am very much looking forward to fasting the whole month instead of taking the obligatory rest period. I guess that all depends on what doc has to say. Alhamdulillah my doctor is a Muslim so no need to explain the usual, “not even water, yes we can eat anything we like at night, no it’s not really that difficult.” He is very much a supporter of pregnant women fasting which makes things easier as I am the same. I am not in a country where we have to fast more than 16 hours and alhamdulillah now I am not early pregnant so the recent article published in some journal (sorry no links) about the dangers of pregnant women fasting don’t apply to me.

5. I used to get annoyed with people who went on about the food preparations for Ramadan. “It isn’t about the food! Why is it always about the food? The month is about discipline, spiritual growth, patience and learning about what others go through. What are we teaching our children?” But when I recall my memories of Ramadan as a child, a lot of fond memories while not completely revolving around , do involve food. I want my children to learn everything about our Ramadan and yes, that may even mean what we do CULTURALLY. There I said it. There doesn’t have to be an “all or nothing” approach. Why can’t Ramadan be mostly about the spirituality of the month and maybe a little bit about the food? Another thing – for those of us who don’t particularly want to be cooking and preparing meals during Ramadan, how easy to pop a few pies in the oven or fry samoosas come close to Maghrib time? What is wrong in preparing food in advance that actually makes it easy for us to do more prayer, more zhikr, read more Qur’an during the day?

6. I am realising in my old age that good friends are very hard to come by and it’s a little bit disheartening. I don’t know if it’s a woman thing but why do we always feel the need to belittle others’ experiences and their hardships? What is a struggle for someone else, might not be a struggle for me but I would never tell someone that their suffering or that their hardship is not *that* bad. I don’t think it’s my place to tell someone to laugh it off (my mother says this all the time and it can be annoying – sometimes I don’t want to laugh it off!), or to tell someone, “well, it could be a lot worse.” Parenting struggles are a bit like this. Toilet training is a great example. It’s really easy for some parents but for others, it can drag out to 4, 5 even 6 months to a year. Nobody knows what one is going through and the best way for a friend to offer support is to just listen. Not give advice and certainly not offer worst case scenarios (they do not make anyone feel any better, trust me.)

7. The paint fumes are giving me a headache! I might have to pop out for a bit until the paint dries. Another thing, cat wee smell and painting fumes do not an appetising concoction make.