Category: Parenting


I can remember the reactions I saw from various friends and family members when I spoke about my intention to homeschool my son. There were those who just answered with silence. Some raised their eyebrows, looked at each other and sniggered like they were sharing an inside joke. Others were genuinely interested and supported my decision. Then there were those who seemed to take it as an attack on their choice to send their children to school or as an attack on the state/federal/Islamic school system and immediately went on the defensive on why homeschooling was not a good idea not just for themselves but for me, too.

I started attending a homeschooling playgroup and met a group of wonderful mothers. We were all so different & from a myriad of backgrounds yet united in our decision to school our children at home. Information and advice was passed back and forth without hesitation and the children were happy to share their favourite toys during free play time. I was truly blessed by knowing these people.

Then came Year 1 and under pressure from family, I decided against continuing my homeschooling. I was reluctant to tell my homeschooling friends of my plans for the new year. I was sure I would be met with the same reactions as the schooling parents. I misjudged and underestimated my homeschooling friends. They did not attack, ridicule or offend me. They listened, sympathised and not once judged me.

I was invited to continue attending the playgroup since I still had younger children who technically I *was* still homeschooling but I felt I had best leave the space for a true homeschooling family. I was touched by their ongoing support and even if they disagreed with my decision or thought I was making a mistake, they never once made me feel inadequate as a parent or as an educator of my children. I even called one mother who is a qualified teacher and racked her brain with my saga about which school to choose for my son.
I haven’t kept in contact with them through no fault but my own laziness and part of me is embarrassed that I didn’t have the fortitude to keep up with schooling at home.

The homeschooling parents I know are confident in their choice of education for their children so don’t need to ridicule or belittle anyone or feel they have to defend their decision (unless of course they get asked that dreaded socialisation question!)

This is why I love them.

I promised those fatwas (yes, everybody, groan why don’t you :P ) a very long time ago so here they are:

Hanafi Madhab

Shafi’i Madhab

I also attended an ABA meeting in November last year on the topic of weaning. Obviously, their stance is to promote child-led weaning though they gave useful advice for mothers needing to wean. I was more interested in weaning at a later age (after 2 years) and I’m going by my ever failing memory here so I may have missed something:

1. Offer cuddles and hugs as a substitute for a feed.

2. Distraction

3. Being wide awake and already dressed by the time your child wakes up for their morning feed.

4. Explain that after she/he turns a certain age (whichever you decide) there will be no more breastfeeding. Sounds simple enough but it never occurred to me that the child would actually be at an age where they would understand (having had 2 boys who self weaned before 18 months of age).

5. Have a “big girl” or “big boy” party to acknowledge the transition.

6. Tell your child that breastfeeding is only for the morning/night/at home and if he/she is thirsty or needs comfort he/she can get this from a cup or a cuddle. This is useful when trying to reduce the number of feedings gradually. It also avoids those stares from onlookers, horrified that you are STILL feeding your toddler.

7. Offer solid food before a breastfeed.

8. Use your partner as a distraction. It’s hard to refuse a feed if your child is right there, cuddling in your arms so let your partner hold your child and take of him/her at night

Have I missed anything?

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