Tasmiya

The question for this week is-

What is the stupidest thing you have ever done?

Anonymous commenters (I promise not to look up your IP or check you email addy) and embarrassing moments are not only welcomed but ENCOURAGED.

I’ve done a fair few stupid things in my time but here’s one that comes to mind:

When living in Adelaide, I decide 3 in the morning is a good time to do some general cleaning up around the house. Wait this isn’t the stupid part. So there I am with a huge garbage bag of stuff ready to take outside. I am in my pyjamas and walk out of the door to the bin outside. Wait this isn’t the stupid part. So I casually walk back to the house and realise that I’ve shut the door and it’s locked! Wait wait, this isn’t the stupid part. So here I am 3 in the morning living ALONE with no family in the city or anyone who has a spare key, IN MY PYJAMAS and nowhere to go. So I sit there. Wait, not the stupid part. I remember I may have left the bedroom window open so I walk to the back. YES! The window is open but there is a flyscreen there. I climb up the window sill, scratch the screen WITH MY BARE FINGERS and make a hole large enough for me to climb in. SUCCESS!

See the thing is, while sitting on the window sill scratching at the flyscreen I spied a key next to my foot. So I’m casually thinking to myself, “Oh it must be a spare key for the front door. The previous tenants must have done that (how scary is that now I think about it)” And instead of stopping there, grabbing the key and at least TRYING the front door, I just keep ripping up the flyscreen.

NOT THE STUPID PART.

The stupid part is I only realise my gross stupidity when relaying the story to husband TWO YEARS LATER. It finally dawns on me as I run to the windowsill outside, grab the key (which I am stupid enough to LEAVE there for TWO years) and fit it into the lock in the front door. Lo and behold. It fits.

Beat that, readers.

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So designated dishwasher (aka Husband) is on strike. He’s had enough of washing dishes and scrubbing pots and that horrible dish drainer full of dishes. As designated NOT dishwasher I cannot say I am too impressed about this. He thinks it’s time to buy a proper dishwasher and while I’m nearly completely sold on the idea, I wonder - do they really make that much difference to domestic duties? And does it not chew up electricity and hot water?

So, my readers with dishwashers - is it really worth it?

And my readers without dishwashers - do you wish you had one?

Discuss.

You know we really should stop meeting like this etc etc. Here we go for another round of questions.

Susan said:

1) how did you and your husband meet/get together? i think i’ve already asked you that, haven’t i? i forget the answer. i am a rubbish friend.

An awful awful friend since I poured my heart out to you (and my BILLION readers) last time with EVERY MINUTE DETAIL OF MY HOT* AND SORDID AFFAIR** WITH MY NOW HUSBAND. Since you are not only an awful friend but also apparently a very lazy one not to check my archives, here it is again for you (copied and pasted FYI):

We met while I was on holiday in South Africa at the end of 1993. After I returned to Australia we corresponded for about 4 years before making the decision that our phone bills and postage were becoming too expensive and we really needed to do something about it. I can recall calling Telstra once to ask about my phone bill and the woman on the other end simply said, “Are you sitting down?” Husband came here to marry me and the rest as they say, is history.

* I mean the weather was very hot.

**All halal, of course and you do know I am joking about your poor friendmanship (I made that word up) (or horsemanships as the spell checker says it should be spelt (spelled……whatever))
2) what’s your nationality/cultural background/where the heck are you muz-loms FROM??

I’m OSTRAYAN!/of Indian descent/born in Africa.

3) what languages (other than english) do you speak, if any?

I speak (very poorly I may add) a little known Indian dialect called Katchi or Memon depending on which class your belong to. I belong to the lower one *cries* It is not a written language and I fear that it’s on its last legs now (at least in our family) *cries again*

4) do you have any eid al adha traditions in your family? what are they?

We don’t have that many for eid al adha. I make the same breakfast I do for Eid ul Fitr- kheer ku mu - a milk drink/porridge thing with vermicilli and saffron and almonds. The older two woke up early and were ready for Eid salat this year. Usually the men and boys will head for Eid prayer and cemetery while the women stay at home. It isn’t that we are not permitted to go, it’s just easier with the little one for me to stay at home. InshaAllah when they are much older I will venture out (with express permission from husband, sons and fathers and brothers etc etc). When they return, we have a nice breakfast - the past couple of years I’ve been making pancakes and then we usually head off to my mum’s or my Auntie’s for the rest of the day. This year since my parents and aunt and uncle have gone for Hajj, we had a leisurely dinner at my sister’s. My 2 year old was not well at all though he did brighten up enough to make the night surprisingly smooth and relaxed.

5) have you ever been on hajj or umrah? if not, any concrete plans to go (we all do- and mean!- the ‘inshaAllah, soon’ but i mean, have you ‘got it on the calendar, mum booked to watch the kids for 3 weeks’ planned)

Went for Umrah with the family at the end of 1995. It was awesome. One thing I do remember is how small the Ka’aba is. For God’s “house” it’s very humble. We were very lucky as the time we went, there were hardly any people so we got to do our tawaaf close up and managed to kiss the Hajre Aswad a few times. Medina is spectacular. We haven’t made any plans to go but now that my mum and dad have finished their Hajj (may Allah accept it), I’ve got an itching to go next year. InshaAllah the children won’t be so young and will manage without us for a few weeks. Make dua we get there.

6) if you weren’t a vet, you’d be a….?

I think I would still be crying at ‘what could have been’ till this day. I am a complete science nerd so I am guessing it would have done something science-y and I definitely would have at least started university. My second and third preferences for university were optometry and dentistry. My older sister is an optometrist and I do envy her ability to wear nice clothes and leave work smelling pretty much the same way as she started the day. I often joke about leaving veterinary stuff to work at the perfume counter at Myer.

7) religiously, what are you surprisingly conservative about? surprisingly liberal? (I say ’surprisingly’ as for most muslims, after you knwo them for a bit, you can guess where they’d stand on most issues/practices. and yet everyone has things that they shock people about with their strictness or casualness. what are those things for you?)

I really don’t know if anything I believe is that strict or that liberal. I’m more a middle of the road sort. Perhaps if you were to ask me on specific subjects I could elaborate and you can all tell me if that’s conservative or liberal. I devour candy canes and Easter eggs at an alarming rate..make of that what you will.

okay, better go- zayd’s nappy seems to be leaking.

Do you use disposable or cloth nappies? What brand of disposable (if you do use them) do you find the best for leaks ( I mean which one is leakproof, obvs, not which one leaks the best)

oh, look at me go. i’m running. aaaaany second now, i’ll go and attend to yet another nappy……..

awww, he’s sho cute. how can i resist?

he is indeed very sweet mashaAllah. Such thick hair and I bet he has long eyelashes, too. What is it with boys and long eyelashes?

Umm Fi-ard said:

1. I think I have one pressing qt about garbage collection as it falls on a tuesday at my suburb and xmas and new year falls on a tuesday .. so when is the council going to collect my rubbish? btw, if I haven’t told you already, I’m going to New Zealand godwilling next week.. Woooohoooo! I am soo looking forward to see those geysers I read about in secondary school, once upon a time.

Not entirely content with forgetting very important details of my life history, susan then proceeds to STEAL MY FRIENDS BY ANSWERING THEIR QUESTIONS!:

Apparently (here at least, and I’m guessing it’s the same elsewhere. But that could be very, very, worringly wrong), your bins will still be collected on public holidays, sooooo you need to make sure you definitely put your bins out the night BEFORE collection, as there will be less traffic, the garbos may come and get your bins earlier than normal. they work hard, those guys!

She is indeed correct.

Please notice how I conveniently did not add the part of susan’s answer where she graciously acknowledges she is pilfering or the part where she allows me to delete her comment so I can then gain the glory for myself.

2nd qt. When did you really learn to cook and do you have some really simple recipes possibly Indian , that you can share with us? (My kids love butter chicken and I like beriani or pilau rice, hint hint).
Other than that, I think Susan just about covered it.

I didn’t learn to cook Indian food until long into my marriage. ie. two months ago. I felt very sorry for my in-laws when they came to visit as while they aren’t fussy fussy, they are particular about foods and I am sure they lost a few kilograms NOT eating the food I served. Most people put on weight during holidays with families. I am sorry to say that if they lost weight, it was all the time spent at my place.

I will try to get some recipes for you but much of what I have learnt from my mother has no actual amounts. I am very bad at the pilau and biryani I am afraid. You must come with me to my mum’s place so we can learn together!

Do have a blast at the geysers (please marvel at my humour this instant) and a wonderful relaxing time in New Zealand - I believe it is called Noo Zelend by the inhabitants, just in case you wish to fit in ( I mean “fet en”)

There we go. Another round of questions finished.

Any more questions please leave them in the comments.

My question for you all this week:

What are your plans for the Christmas break?

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If there are any questions for me AND WHY ARE THERE NOT PEOPLE SCRAMBLING TO ASK ME ABOUT MY SO INTERESTING LIFE?!, please leave them in the comments.

Today will be a quick one as I was lucky enough to only garner TWO questions, one of which has been answered already. Saved!

UmmInayah said:

Do you think this website it legitimate?

http://www.freerice.com

I’ve looked at it and it all seems above board but what’s the deal with TEN grains of rice? Why 10? Why not start at a cup or something a bit more substantial. In any case it’s a lot of fun and a great time waster with the added bonus of improving your vocabulary and feeding the hungry. What more could you possibly want with a website?

WHO SAID ‘NUDITY’? GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER THIS INSTANT!

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My question for you all today is - favourite sandwich filling?

Also, if anyone has any questions for me, feel free to leave them in the comments.

What do you do to unwind and relax?

For parents, how important is it to you to have child-free time?

And once again I am opening up the blog to questions from the intermawebs. There are no stupid questions remember, so ask away!

This week’s question is:

Do you have any more questions for me?

Leave them in the comments

kthxbye

I have been having dramas, sagas and domestic catastrophes over my new washing machine. I will just say that Life is NOT Good, thank you very much and you stupid company would do well to learn what it is like to have SMALL CHILDREN with nary a care or bother about what the words “Please don’t touch that!” mean.

Alhamdulillah for “contacts” aka brother-in-law who will be putting it all straight inshaAllah.

Question time! And I promise it will be nothing like the question time in parliament. ALSO LATE ENTRIES ARE ACCEPTED> Scroll down for new answers to new questions.

How do you cope with copious amounts of umm….diaper duty*?

*polite way of saying it**

**haha i pulled a Tasmiya***

*** (TM)****

****LOLZ

Well I must say, I have thought about this for some time as have found this question intriguing. Do you mean diaper duty* in the literal sense? If we are indeed discussing toileting of the baby kind then really, it’s all second nature now. I have only the one in nappies so it’s not that bad. I have yet to start the toilet training rigmarole and am not looking forward to that for there is comfort in the knowledge that the nappy will catch the bowel motion and urine voiding as it is so much more reliable than the human hand**

If you mean how do I manage loads of nappy duty in the metaphorical sense then I actually don’t manage. I do not cope well with any stressful situation and I do tend to make mountains out of molehills. I like to think of this facet of my personality as both interesting and endearing. Husband would likely prefer to describe it as “annoying.”

How refreshing to have my very own trademark***

*henceforth to be called “nappies”

** I know from EXPERIENCE.

***I just put those there for effect

plz i want one more question

Do you have any manual hobbies or interest in learning one?

And one more question you may ask. Alas I do not have a creative bone in my body. I am have not artistic talent and am all thumbs. I can knit, I have learnt to crochet and I do draw stick figures very well indeed. I know how to use a sewing machine and am an excellent tacker. I love to cross-stitch but that hobby has been given up since the little children have come my way plus I am still unsure if I am supposed to be knotting the end of the darn thread and it’s been causing me all sorts of bother so instead of asking someone I have thrown the towel in. See? So endearing, am I not? I would love to be able to paint, sketch, sculpt and do mosaics and all those other fiddly craft things but for now I am more than happy with my intellectual prowess. (snort)

Is this tuesday question going to be a staple on a tuesday?! How many questions are we allowed max? Okay, I have a real question, I just got out from 1 month hibernation and rechatted to my neighbour. I invited her and her toddler to swim in the pool in my backyard and she invited us to her child’s sandpit… My question is.. She has a dog with a face of a bulldog and the body of a greyhound, brownish grey color. My question is .. what pedigree is it and are they territorial kind of dog?

1. I guess it depends on how successful this adventure is and if people keep asking the questions. I am enjoying myself so far and hope you are too.

2. I should have set a maximum shouldn’t I (not looking at anyone in particular SUSAN of the eleventy million questions.)

3. Firstly, you have a pool in your backyard? Where do you live and can I live with you? Face of a bull dog and body of a greyhound -what an odd combination- send pictures. It surely must be a mixed breed. My guess at this stage is a cross between a greyhound and bull dog. 5 years at university - see how much they teach us? Most dogs are territorial of some sort especially entire males. Mostly food is a big priority in their lives as is their backyard but they may also be possessive of owners and special toys. I am sure you know the dos and donts of dog things such as never approaching a strange dog without permission from owner and especially not if the dog is eating. Never take food away from a dog and never leave a dog alone with children. Another thing - if the owner is scared of his/her dog then BEWARE because if an owner cannot control his/her dog then most likely nobody can.

u mentioned once in ur blog that u r desi.just curious wat do mean by that.n also i assumed that u r a doc.where did u study.n also y r u so beautiful;)

Desi = Indian.

I’m a vet not a doc although I have on occasion needed to refer to my good self as Doctor Tasmiya ____ as people kept mistaking me for a work experience student. I studied here in Brisbane. It was a lifetime ago long before computers, long before electricity actually which is why these days I am not mistaken for the work experience student. *sigh*. Umarah you have made my day. Thank you very much yes I am lovely mashaAllah and I don’t know- Allah just made me like that.

1. how often do stoopid muslims make dumb comments about being a vet being problematic because dogs are ‘najas’?

2. how often do you punch said stoopid muslims in the face for this?

I have had to break these questions up a bit so things flow a bit better. Actually I get more questions from non-Muslims about the najas thing. An owner once asked me in a very concerned tone whether I was allowed to touch her dog. I am assuming it is because of my Muslim-ness and nothing do with her lack of faith in me as veterinarian. For those who are curious, it isn’t much different to a human nurse or doctor having to deal with blood and vomit and urine on his/her clothes. I make a dash for the shower as soon as I get home and my children have learnt to allow me that time before they rush in and hug me. They soon realise if they have forgotten - “you STINK mum.” Most of my shifts are short morning ones so I have time enough to pray zuhr at home. A Muslim colleague prays at work though I am not sure if he changes (maybe he follows a different madhab but Hanafis are pretty strict with the dog saliva thing.)

I have punched many a Muslim in the face. In my mind.

3. what is the hardest part about being a mum? the best?

Oh parenting is fraught with difficulties isn’t it? I think the hardest part is the one one is in at the moment. Each stage comes with its own rewards and trials. In the beginning, it’s the exhaustion and lack of sleep and sometimes the loss of our identity as people as we are now not a person but a provider for a person with huge needs. We are often alone (even in a supportive relationship) and there are times nobody is there to provide for our needs. Then it’s the tantruming stage or the toilet training or the “talking back/indignation” stage. Of course as we move from stage to stage we realise what we were concerned about was really not that important or difficult at all and the cycle continues.

The best part of being a mother is this overwhelming love for a human being that with Allah’s help grew inside me. This connection and love I feel when I look into my child’s eyes and he stares back at me with the same love. The unspoken feelings of unconditional love. It doesn’t diminish the more children you have or the older the child gets - it just grows exponentially. It’s truly humbling yet awesome.

4.. how did you and your husband meet?

We met while I was on holiday in South Africa at the end of 1993. After I returned to Australia we corresponded for about 4 years before making the decision that our phone bills and postage were becoming too expensive and we really needed to do something about it. I can recall calling Telstra once to ask about my phone bill and the woman on the other end simply said, “Are you sitting down?” Husband came here to marry me and the rest as they say, is history.

5. there is an increasing trend in Australia of muhajibat taking off the hijab (it is becoming a phenomenon in melb and syd) because they no longer feel it is compulsory- would you ever take it off? why do you wear it? (ha- and i was the one that said not. one. more. WORD! about the hijab! feel free to ignore this question)

A muslimah revolution! What are the parents saying in all of this? Where are the husbands, brothers and fathers forcing their womenfolk to don the garment?! For shame! In my community the muhajibat are the exception rather than the norm so I have not witnessed this phenomenon. I do think of taking it off all the time especially the days that the doorbell rings and I can’t for the life of me find ONE of the billion scarves I own. Also my vanity takes a beating everytime I put it on. I suppose it’s a good thing and we aren’t supposed to be liked or valued for how we look but what we are on the inside and blah de blah. A friend once commented how it really does take away from one’s beauty and makes us all into an amorphous mass and since she’s said that, I often think how I’d like not to be a blob. The EGO in me feels very ugly in hijab. Of course it’s a very shallow reason to take it off( insert obligatory “Don’t judge me!”)

Then there are times when I feel as though I am not worthy of the cloth (that sounds like I’m a wayward Catholic priest doesn’t it?) I am not good enough to be this ambassador of the faith and shouldn’t I first perfect my innards before I go and start looking all holy on the outside.

Goodness I have issues, don’t I?

I wear it because I believe it is compulsory FOR ME. I don’t know about anyone else and I am not one of those who believe “enjoining the good” means telling everyone what to do. Most of us Muslims believe in the 5 pillars but after that things are all iffy. I don’t believe there is only one way to God and I do think that my hijab is a form of worship for me. Goodness knows I need all the extra brownie points I can get.

6. why do you choose to be muslim?

It all makes sense to me.

7. what causes you cognitive dissonance?

The expression “cognitive dissonance” for starters. I am easily distracted nowadays - I was not so when I was younger. I am awful when it comes to dealing with emotional issues, arguments with friends or tension between me and someone else. It becomes all consuming and everything else ceases to exist. My washing machine problem is mild and innocuous yet that is all I could think of yesterday. I was fuming for the whole day.

8. why do you blog?

I needed something to occupy my time and distract me from housework and cooking in the beginning. I was surprised when I realised that people were actually coming to my site to read what I had to say and actually commenting. Some of these people keep coming back WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? I love the feedback. I love the idea that I am connecting and communicating with people from countries and places I can only dream of visiting. I have found people who are my evil twins and I love the idea that through blogs I have come to love people with whom I have nothing in common.

okay. stopping now. but i reserve the right to add mroe questions. hey, you didn’t set a cap!

PS hope you got the book.

Yes. I did not set a cap. *sigh*

And thanks again for the book. My father was chuffed!

9. would you ever consider becoming a celebrity vet?

Oh goodness no. For all you non-Australians, here is a pic of our current celebrity vet:

and now for your viewing pleasure:

Now really, which do you prefer?

Besides, Australia can only handle one hijabi celebrity at a time and that auspicious role is already taken Please remember us small people when you win your Gold Logie.

1. why are you so beautiful?
2. why can’t i be more like you?

Mona wins the prize for best questions!

3. is ‘(:’ in arabic?

I think at ‘(:’ is actually a “duck for cover” smiley when one says something controversial and needs to hide. I could very well have made that up so maybe we should ask other people. Other people, do you know?

4. why did my hummingbird fly backward into the fan and die? (i was only 10 and scarred for life by this incident)

I am so very sorry you lost your hummingbird in such a freak accident. It could have been that the fan’s centrifugal/centripetal (I always get those mixed up) was much too powerful and the dearest didn’t actually FLY into the fan but got sucked there! I am sure he is flying happily with fans right this very minute in bird heaven.

5. what made you want to be a vet?

Simple and quite boring. I love animals. My parents did a lot of lecturing and attempted to change my mind but of course that made me only more determined. Alhamdulillah I was fortunate enough to get into the course and pass. I really don’t know what I would have done had I not made it.

6. do people ever ask you for solutions to their health problems? (i know someone who does, i swear!)

Yes. I have been asked on numerous occasions if so-and-so’s doctor made the right diagnosis and what would I have done and what drugs would I recommend for itchy skin/scalp/dandruff/warts etc. Some things work on first principles and can extrapolate across the species but I really hate to be put into that position. Doctors for human complaints and vets for animal complaints and never the twain shall meet.

7. what is your favorite animal?

Without even thinking - the cat. So beautiful, agile, aloof, clean and quite low maintenance.

8. why don’t you visit dubai?

I have heard so many wonderful things of Dubai and most of them involve shopping. Husband and I contemplated going there to live for a year or so and it would have all worked out very well since I was going to homeschool my eldest so no school worries but plans just never eventuated and while we haven’t forgotten our fantasies of such an adventure, we are just so comfortable here in Australia right now. As for holidaying - InshaAllah we may do a stopover or some such if we ever make it for Hajj. Make dua.

why are you so smart?
where can i get a sense of humour like yours?
are you beautiful hee hee …i have not seen you!!!
who invented armpit fart sound? does your family ahve the patents rights? will you teach me? did you think i had forgotten all about it?

Ok sorry Mona, the prize must certainly go to Nandini. I am not beautiful - I just say that so people will like me *sob*

You do realise why your comments always go straight to moderation - it’s the four letter f word you use all the time! Alright I will tell you - the secret to the armpit fart is to wet your hand with a bit of water, shake the excess and the farts will come loud as ever. There! Now off you go and teach the masses. My job is done!

fin

If you don’t mind anonymous questioners, then surely you won’t mind a new person on your blog…

Is ‘Tasmiya’ your name? What does it mean?

And, really, why *are* you so beautiful?

Of course I do not mind newcomers to my blog. Welcome! Welcome! Squish in everybody and make room for mummyjaan. Tasmiya is my real name. It means the act of taking God’s name. The saying “in the name of God, the beneficent the merciful” is commonly called “The Tasmiya.”

Even though they’re rhetorical I feel as though I need to address these questions on my obvious beauty (as the photo above demonstrates.) I wake up 3 hours earlier than the rest of the family to ensure my face is cleansed, toned and moisturised. Then I apply 10 layers of foundation and just the hint of blush and lipstick and a smidgen of eye-liner. (I am a fan of the natural look.) VOILA.