Every now and again he wins because I let him:
Her : asphinctersayswhat?
Silence
Her : asphinctersayswhat?
Silence
Her : asphinctersayswhat?
Crickets chirping
Her : asphinctersayswhat?
Silence
Her :ASPHINCTERSAYSWHAT!!!
Him : I’ve watched Wayne’s World, you know.
Her : What?
Him : HA!
Owner : My dog is choking! I think there’s something stuck in his throat!
Vet nurse : Ok, come straight down.
Owner : Oh but I’ve just put up the potatoes on the stove. I’ll be there in half an hour.
———————————————————————————-
4 am
Owner : Yeah….ummm..my dog – she’s got these lumps on her back …do you know what they are?
Vet : ummm…no?
———————————————————————————-
Owner : Look – I’ve got a really sick cat. I need to see a vet straight away!
Vet nurse : We are fully booked this morning. I can make the appointment after 4.
Owner : NO NO! I really need a vet NOW!
Vet nurse : What’s the problem with your cat?
Owner : Well, he’s been sick for a couple of weeks…….
——————————————————————————-
Dog growls when approached. Ears back and hackles up.
Owner : Oh, he’s just saying hello.
—————————————————————-
